Second Chances
by BonanzaRocks
Summary: "Sometimes you have to do what's right for you, son" Sonny commented. It was torture watching the young boy struggle to decide his fate. That night, Dean made a decision that would change his life forever. He decided to stay.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there! Thanks for considering this story :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. Lame.**

**Ok so I tweaked some details here and there...I mean this is fanfiction after all...PLEASE REVIEW!**

1995

"Oh, look at you. You clean up good!" Sonny said walking into the room.

**"**Thank you. You know, uh... I've never actually been to one of these school dances before." Dean smiled, but his smile faded as he listened to what Sonny had to say next.

**"**Yeah. Look, about that, Dean, your old man's outside... and, man, he's really something. I tried to tell him what a big night it was for you, Dean, and ask him if he could come back later, but he just said to tell you he had a job, said you'd know what that means... You know, after I got out of jail, this place gave me a second chance, and it's done the same for you, too... So if you want, I'll stick my neck out for you, and I'll fight for you to stay."

And by the look on his face, Dean knew he wasn't bluffing. It had only been two months, but he felt a closeness and a love from Sonny that he never fully got from John.

Dean shifted back and forth. Of all nights for his dad to pop back up in his life, he had to choose this one. He'd promised Robin that he would take her to the school dance, even though he was completely clueless when it came to dancing. He couldn't just leave. But he couldn't stay. He had a family, yeah it was a crazy one, but it was his.

The Impala's horn honked him out of his thoughts. Dean tightened his jaw and lowered his gaze. It took everything in him not to start crying.

"Dean?"

"Yeah," Dean pulled himself together, "Yeah um." He knew John wasn't big on waiting around. He needed to make a decision. It was obvious wasn't it? He needed to leave. He needed to be there for Sammy.

"Sometimes you have to do what's right for you, Son." Sonny commented. It was torture watching the young boy struggle to decide his fate.

Dean gave a curt nod.

"Maybe he could come get you after this…job?" Sonny suggested.

Dean looked up, his eyes watery, that was exactly what he wanted. Sonny could see the approval of that plan written on Dean's face.

"Ok, I'll see what he says." Sonny left Dean alone in the room. He was starting to feel slightly hopeful. His family had been ok without him for this long, a few more weeks wouldn't hurt, and if it was a quick hunt it would only be a few days.

It didn't take long before Dean heard the booming voice of John Winchester drawing near. He could hear his father's heavy boots coming up the stairs.

"Dean. Dean Winchester," John said entering the communal boys room, "Dean pack up this instant. We're rolling out." John folded his arms across his chest and watched, as Dean stood motionless.

"You know how I feel about repeating an order."

"I don't think the boy is going with you Mr. Winchester." Sonny piped up as he entered the room on John's heels.

"Yeah, well 'the boy' is my son. And he will do as he is told. I've had enough of this disrespect. It's one thing that you got yourself in this mess in the first place. I hope you've learned something. But now, it's time to back to your responsibilities."

"No." Dean said in a whisper.

"What was that?" John asked.

"No, sir." Dean said a bit louder.

Sonny stood watching the exchange. John seemed genuinely surprised by Dean's "disobedience." He wondered if this was a first for Dean.

"Dean, I'm not asking you." John said, as if Dean simply needed some clarification.

Dean held his head a little higher and dared to look into his father's eyes, "I'm not going tonight. I've made a promise to someone, and I intend on keeping it. I will be happy to join you after you finish this next job."

John stood silent. He wasn't used to having his authority challenged by his oldest.

"He's welcome here until you return from your next engagement."

"Oh yeah?" John said turning to Sonny, "well my next job is one that Dean has a special interest in. It might take a while."

John looked over to Dean for his reaction. Dean knew exactly what he was talking about. His dad must have picked up a lead on the thing that killed his mom. He felt a pang of excitement mixed with worry.

"He's a bright boy, and I'm sure he's a great help in…the family business…but he also has special interests here. He's on his way to states in wrestling. He's got a girl that's sweet on him. He's a real help to the other boys."

John looked to his son with a look of pride, sorrow, and anger. Dean was doing what he should be doing. He had a normal teenage life. John was upset that it had been Sonny who had provided this environment for his boy, instead of him. Maybe it was time to let Dean go. He'd probably messed the boy up past fixing, but at least he knew Dean could take care of himself. John had noted the carving on the bedpost and the stash of salt nearby.

"Well it looks like you've made up your mind." John stated.

Dean nodded.

"I'll be back. When it's over." John didn't need to explain.

Another nod from Dean.

And just like that John walked out of the room and out of his son's life. For the better, he told himself. Now he just had to figure out what he would tell Sam.

**SPN**

Castiel paced the hallway of the Heavenly prison. It was his assigned time for patrol. He didn't especially enjoy the assignment but it was what needed to be done.

"Excuse me," came the voice of a prisoner.

Castiel stopped in front of the angel's cell.

"I know you have no reason to trust me brother," said the angel. Castiel cringed at the use of the word brother. He wanted no relation between him and the rebellious angel Gadreel. "But I have information that I know would benefit you."

"What could you possibly know that I do not already know?" Castiel asked.

"I know about the Winchesters."

"As do I," Castiel said, growing tired of the exchange, "who in Heaven does not know of their role?"

"Yes but I know of a way to stop it all from happening."

"Stop what from happening?"

"Lucifer rising, the apocalypse, death, carnage, loss."

"It must happen. It's the plan." Castiel didn't understand why Gadreel would want to change God's plan.

"Brother, I was once God's most trusted angel."

"I know," Castiel cut in, "and then you betrayed him." Castiel started to walk away.

"And you will too."

"No. I would never."

"Castiel, I was trusted with much more information than you can imagine. I know things you could not even fathom. And I know how many many terrible things can be avoided. I am not evil. All I want to do is save the world from the impending devastation."

Castiel looked down at the prisoner. It was crazy to even think about believing the angel. Yet, there was something inside of him, a little piece of his grace that yearned for more information.

"How?"

**Ahhh ok! I really hope you liked the first chapter. I have the next couple chapters already written. I'm trying to write a lot while I have the time so that I don't have huge gaps between posting updates.**

**Please please please review :) I love those little reviews. They are better than free chocolate (and that's saying something!)**


	2. Now

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**THANK YOU! To those of you who are reading and reviewing :) It means a lot.**

**Five Years Later**

John shut the motel door behind him and went to the Impala. He fired up the car and drove to the nearest convenience store. It had been five years since he'd left Dean at Sonny's Home. Sam was seventeen now and quite the hunter, but he wasn't Dean. It had been harder to train Sam than it had been with Dean. Dean was a natural. John missed that.

John and Sam had just finished up a hunt. Simple salt and burn. Or at least, it would have been if Sam hadn't failed to refill the salt container. Little mistake almost cost the boy his life. He made it out alive, but he was beat up pretty bad, and as luck would have it their motel ice machine was broken.

John pulled into the parking lot and made his way across the lot to the little store for a bag of ice and some food. It was as he was walking back out to the car that something crazy happened.

An insanely bright light flashed before the senior Winchester causing him to drop all of his purchases. The light was followed with a high-pitched screech that sounding like a thousand dying dolphins. When he felt like the phenomenon had subsided, John opened his eyes. Standing before him was a dark haired man in a trench coat.

"I am Castiel, Angel of the Lord."

John stood dumbfounded. Not sure if he should grab the knife in his boot or start laughing.

"John, I need your help. We must rid your son of his unclean blood and by thus doing so, prevent the rise of Lucifer and the Apocalypse."

Now it was time for John to laugh. Yeah, it was a little weird that this thing knew his name but he was obviously missing a few screws in his head.

"Yeah, sure." John said picking up his groceries.

"I'm pleased that you are in agreement with this plan."

John put the sacks in the backseat of the car and looked over at the stranger again. Something wasn't right with this guy, but right now he needed to get back to Sam.

"Sam will be ok, for now. But we need to act fast before the other angels discover our plan, or the demons for that matter."

Hearing this psycho speak his sons name didn't sit well with John. He reached for the gun tucked into his waistband and pointed it at the angel's head.

"What the hell are you?" John demanded, not thinking about who might see him threatening a man with a loaded gun.

"I am an Angel of the Lord." Castiel repeated, slightly confused by Johns lack of understanding.

"No such thing as angels, try again." John said his trigger finger antsy.

A loud rumble and a bright light, and then John saw a flash of large wings appear behind the man.

"Like I said, we don't have much time. This will help you understand." Castiel said pressing his fingers against John's forehead. John was startled by the action but before he could make a move he was seeing things.

_Mary. That night. Sammy. Yellow-Eyed Demon. Blood. Death. Hell. Demons. Lots of Demons. A man he didn't recognize, but who was identified as Lucifer. And then something that really scared him. His baby boy with black eyes. His Sammy saying yes. And just like that Sam was the devil. Sam stepping on his older brother's neck. Destruction. Desolation. Darkness._

Castiel removed his hand and watched John try to shake off what he had just witnessed. The two stood in silence.

"You're wrong," John finally managed to say, "Sam isn't a killer. He's not like that."

"Not yet." Castiel clarified.

**SPN**

"Stop! Stop, stop stop!" Robin squealed as she tried to escape her husbands tickle attack. Her chances weren't looking too good. Dean was strong and this morning he was especially playful.

"Dean!" She shrieked wiggling away from him. "I have to get to work!"

Dean stopped and looked up at Robin with the biggest puppy dog face he could manage. "Don't go."

Robin slid off the edge of the bed and walked over to the closet to finish getting dressed.

"Just because you get a day off doesn't mean I do too." She said. She wanted to stay home though. The diner could manage without her. No, she had to go. Every since she and Dean had married a few weeks back, she was taking too many days off. Just because she ran the place now didn't mean she could play hooky whenever she felt like it.

"What am I'm supposed to do without you?" Dean asked watching Robin don her uniform.

"Well, now that you ask," Robin turned around with a smile on her face, "the disposal is clogged, the light in the living room lamp needs replacing, there's a loose board – "

Dean started coughing, "You know I think I'm coming down with something."

"Mmm." Robin smiled.

"Maybe I should take it easy today. Sleep. Rest up."

"Oh, and what is it you're resting up for?" Robin asked with a smirk.

"Tonight." Dean said wagging his eyebrows.

Robin burst out laughing, "You're such a goofball!"

"Yeah, but I'm a sexy goofball right?" Dean asked as he wrapped his arms around his lovely wife.

"Well…I did marry you for your looks. You know I can't resist a sexy man covered in motor oil." She kissed Deans nose and laughed as he started back up his tickle attack. It was interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Dean sighed. He made his way through the tiny little house to the front door. When he opened it, he didn't like what he saw.

"Dean Winchester?" Asked a tall man in a suit, as he flashed an FBI badge.

"Yeah, that's me." Dean said. He wasn't sure if these were actual FBI agents or hunters. Either way he was nervous. His palms started to sweat. "How can I help you?"

"We have some…disturbing news." The agents stood at the doorstep in silence, waiting for Dean to allow them inside. He understood what they wanted and obliged. The three of them went into the little living room and sat down.

"What did you need to tell me?" Dean could feel his heart pounding. Had the feds finally caught up with John Winchester? Was it Sammy? Not a day went by he didn't think of the kid. What he was up to?

"Mr. Winchester. It's not good."

"Well?" Dean was about to burst if he didn't find out what this was about ASAP.

"Your father John Winchester, and your brother is Sam Winchester, correct?"

Dean nodded. It was odd to hear a stranger say the names of his family members. He couldn't even remember he last time he had uttered their names.

"Mr. Winchester, your father was shot a few days ago."

Dean let out a little sigh of relief, that wasn't so bad. Gunshot wounds were usually the least of their worries.

"He was shot and killed by a police officer. Mr. Winchester, your father… was in the process of torturing and murdering your brother."

Dean was going to puke. No, no, no. These guys had it all wrong. Lies.

"Dean?" Robin whispered as she knelt down next to him. She had been listening in to the conversation from the doorway of the living room.

"We would have contacted you sooner but it took us a while to track you down." The officers sat in silence as they let their information sink in.

"No." Dean whispered. "No, you're wrong. You must be wrong."

How could it be true? Had John really gone that far off the reservation? No! They were misinformed. It wasn't Sammy, John was torturing a shape shifter. Something supernatural that just looked like Sam. For that matter, maybe John wasn't even dead.

"I can't begin to pretend I understand what you are going through." One of the agents said in a hushed voice, "And I hate to spring this on you, but your brother, Sam, he is awake now and he isn't making much sense. We think he might have been brainwashed or he is in shock. With your father dead, you are his next of kin. The hospital needs you to sign off on a few things. Paperwork."

Dean nodded. He was speechless.

"Where is he?" Robin asked the officers. She had heard Dean mention his brother only a handful of times, and only when he was drunk. She knew that he kept his family very close to his chest. He refused to speak of them. When they were sending out wedding invites she thought he might want to send one to his family. Yeah, that suggestion didn't go over well.

"Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 'Bout two and a half hours south of here."

**Ok so here it is: this story will jump back and forth between what is happening "now" five years after Dean staying with Sonny and the different lives the two brothers lived because of the decision. There are going to be flashbacks and conversations about their different pasts. And then there will also be stuff about how they are dealing with life now. Just so you know what's coming. **

**Please Review!**


	3. Blood

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

It only took an hour and a half to get to Bethlehem.

"Sam Winchester. Where is he?" Dean asked with a little too much urgency in his voice.

"Just a moment sir," the nurse said as she looked up the name in her system. "They just moved him out of the ICU, he's on the third floor, room 301."

Dean rushed off for the room before he could even think to say thank you for the information. Robin gave thanks for him and rushed off after her husband. She found him in the hallway outside of rom 301.

"What's wrong?" She asked, "Is he in there?"

Dean shook his head, yes. He could see Sammy through the doorway. Asleep. The last time he had seen his brother, Sammy was just a puny twelve-year-old. The boy in the hospital bed was lanky and must have been around six feet tall by the way he stretched across the length of the bed. He looked so weak, so tired, and yet there was a strength that could be sensed. He was sporting a lovely bruise that covered a large portion of his jaw. The one thing that really stuck out to Dean though, strangely enough, was the kids hair. Sam had always refused haircuts and wore his long hair over his ears and when possible eyes. Dean knew if drove their father crazy but he let the kid have his tiny rebellion. Now, Sam's hair was shorter than Dean's.

Sam started to stir, but he couldn't move too much. He was restrained in the bed. His eye-lids started to flutter and Dean backed away from the doorway.

"I can wait down the hall." Robin offered. She knew Dean would want some privacy with his brother.

Dean nodded his ok.

"I'll just be by the nurses station." Robin said as she gave Dean's cheek a gentle kiss.

Dean took a deep breath and walked into the room.

"Sammy?" Dean said with a little creak in his voice.

Sam turned to look at his visitor. His face scrunched into a look of confusion.

"It's me. Uh, Dean."

Sam looked up at the man. Was this supposed to be Dean, his brother Dean? He didn't look like the brother he remembered. His brother was a teenager with peach fuzz and a permanent smirk. The guy was taller, bigger, this couldn't be his brother, but then – he saw it. The golden amulet around his neck.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

Sam was at loss for words. He wanted to both and hug and punch his brother. Neither of which was possible due to his restraints. Five years. Sam could feel tears welling up. How was it possible to be so angry and happy at the same time?

"You…" Sam cleared his throat, "you can go now. I'm fine."

Leave? He'd just got there. And from what he could see, Sam was anything but fine.

"I'm not gonna leave you here alone Sammy."

"Sam." He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been called anything but Sam.

"Sam, look –"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine. Just call someone. Uh… Bobby Singer. He'll pick me up." Sam turned his head and looked out of the hospital window. He couldn't look at his "brother" anymore.

Dean stood watching Sam. He couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"Sam what happened to you? To… dad?"

Sam continued staring out the window, but Dean could see that he was gently crying.

"Sam?"

"I'm fine." Sam demanded. This time more anger slipped out.

Dean didn't want to leave his brothers side. But he could see that Sam needed a minute. He probably didn't want his big brother watching him cry.

**SPN**

**Two Weeks Ago**

John looked across the diner table at the angel. Angels! Who knew?

"You're sure this will work?" John asked before taking another sip of his black coffee.

"Yes." Castiel was sure, or at least Gadreel had seemed sure. "Sam will no longer be Lucifer's true vessel if his blood is destroyed."

"And Dean is safe because…?"

"Because he is Michael's true vessel, but if Lucifer has no possible vessel he can inhabit without combustion then he cannot rise. So there will be no use for Dean as a vessel. The battle between Michael and Lucifer, good and evil, will never transpire."

"And you're sure that Lucifer couldn't use Dean or me instead of Sam?"

Castiel nodded. "Sam is the chosen. No other vessel could contain the amount of darkness and power Lucifer exudes."

John nodded. This was crazy, but if it was coming from an Angel, who was he to argue?

"What am I supposed to tell Sam?" John asked, more to himself than the angel.

"The truth." Castiel stated, as if it was the only obvious answer.

"No," John shook his head, "Sam is a sensitive kid."

Castiel looked skeptical, the vessel of Lucifer, sensitive?

"He won't take this well."

"Well, whatever you tell him, make sure you get him to the warehouse tonight. We'll need to start the process. It will be very painful and we will need to do it quickly. We only have a matter of days before the other angels will figure out what is going on."

John nodded.

Castiel disappeared. John looked around but it nobody in the diner had seemed to take notice.

By the time John made it back to the motel the ice had completely melted.

"What took so long?" Sam asked. He was just finishing up some stitches on his ribs.

"They broken?" John asked, avoiding his son's inquiry.

"Ribs? Eh maybe one or two. Could just be bad bruising though. You get the ice?"

"They were out."

Sam laughed, "the gas station was out of ice?"

"Yeah, no, look Sam. There's something I need to tell you." John sat down on the other motel bed and started wringing his hands.

"Ok," Sam looked at his father like he had lost his marbles. Since when did his dad want to have serious life conversations? Most of their communication focused on hunts, training, and … more hunting.

"Sam, you…I mean, it's, there's something –"

"Dad?" Sam was starting to get nervous now.

"Ah screw it, Sam, I need to tell you something you're not gonna want to hear. You gonna be a man about it?"

"Yessir." Sam straightened up, even though it shot pain through his core.

"You're blood. There's something wrong with it." John started.

"Like… cancer?" Sam asked, confused.

"No. Something a little more… supernatural."

Sam started chewing on his lower lip.

"I'm a monster." It was almost a relief to say it out loud. Sam had always felt different. Even when he was a kid and Dean was around, he knew there was something off with him. He wasn't like his dad. He felt a darkness.

"No, no Sam."

"Well then what is it?" Sam was starting to loose his cool. "Dad!"

"Look, I don't have time to go into the specifics. You need to trust me here son. There is a way you can be saved."

"Saved from what? What's wrong with me?" Sam remembered how easily Dean accepted orders, but he couldn't do it. No matter how hard he tried. He knew his dad missed Dean. He never talked about him. But Sam could tell when he was thinking of him. Usually it was after Sam had screwed something up, he would watch his dads face and it would say, "Dean would have done that the right way."

"Dammit Sam! I just told you we don't have time for this. Get up, we need to leave. Now." John stood and turned away from his son. "Let's go."

Sam didn't want to start a big fight with his dad right now. It had only been about two days since their last big argument, but. he could feel anger bubbling inside of him. Why did his dad always have to be so vague? This was his life, he deserved to know what was going on.

"Dad? Dad, what's wrong with me."

"Sam," Johns voice was just above a whisper, "trust me. You don't want to know."

"Of course I want to know. I need to know! You never tell me anything. You just expect me to blindly follow you. Well guess what! I'm not Dean. I'm not your perfect son! You can't just spring something like on me and expect me to be ok with it. I won't be jerked around anymore. I'm not some dog on a leash! I'm your son! I'm your fuc –" Sam's rant was cut short by a swift blow delivered to his jaw, knocking him out cold.

John picked his son off the floor, he tried to be gentle, not that it really mattered considering what would happen at the warehouse. John carried his broken boy out of the room and to the backseat of the car.

If this were Dean he was dealing with – no, he couldn't think like that. Dean was gone, and John was happy for him. He'd been keeping tabs on the boy, not that Sam knew about this, but he wasn't just going to turn a blind eye to his boy. But now wasn't the time to reminisce. He had to get Sam to that blasted angel. John fired up the Impala and peeled out of the motel parking lot.

**Thank you for reading! Please review :) **

**Thanks to StyxxsOmega, Nyx Ro, and others for reviewing! **


	4. Hospital

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural (unfortunately)**

**THANK YOU! To all the reviewers :) you make my day! Here is another chapter and I hope you enjoy!**

"Mr. Winchester?"

"Uh, yeah." It was a little unnerving being called something other than Dean. He looked up from his waiting room seat to see a neatly dressed woman, probably in her forties, with a chart in her hands.

"I'm Karen, Sam's social worker."

Dean nodded.

"Now, all of his paperwork is in order here on our end, but there is still the matter of further care that we need to discuss."

"Further care?"

"Yes, now you mentioned that you live up in Hurleyville. Small little town right?"

"Yeah," Dean dragged a tired hand through his hair.

"Unfortunately, there aren't any facilities there that can attend to Sam's needs. I do however know of an excellent psychiatrist in Poughkeepsie. It would be a long commute but – "

"Psychiatrist? That's the one that gives the crazies their meds."

"I wouldn't say – "

"Yeah, look, all due respect but my brother isn't crazy." Dean was started to slip into his defensive big brother role. It had been years but the part still seemed to fit.

"I never said he was," Karen offered a gentle smile, "I'm simply saying that Sam has undergone a very traumatic experience."

Dean almost laughed at that. This doctor didn't know the half of it. Yeah, this was probably one of the worst jams Sammy was in, not that he had too many details, but this wasn't his first rodeo. He was sure the old man had him out hunting in the line of fire just about every week of his life.

"Now, I've made some calls and he should be good to go up there. I just need to make sure that you will be able to provide him with the transportation to and from those appointments. As a minor he will need his legal guardian there. He will be living with you correct?"

Dean nodded. The title legal guardian was a new one for him. He remembered being handed his baby brother years and years ago. He remembered his father's orders to always keep Sammy safe. He was used to being his brothers keeper. Now it would just be legal.

"Alright, well I'll get you his information and then you can set up the appointments that fit with your schedule." Karen smiled. "Do you have any questions for me, Mr. Winchester?"

"No – well. Has he told you about what happened?" Dean looked up at Karen and she could see that he was drowning in his thoughts. This was a lot for a young man to take in. "I mean, I've only heard the police report. But…"

"Sam hasn't opened up to me about what happened. In fact, since coming into the hospital he has hardly spoken at all. It's not uncommon though for a trauma survivor." Karen Smiled. "You're his brother, I'm sure you'll have a better chance at getting through to him than I will. It's usually like that with family."

Dean sighed. If only this lady knew how messed up his family was.

"Now," Karen took a seat next to Dean, "even though Sam hasn't told me any details about his…situation. I do have what the doctors have disclosed and I just wanted to walk though it with you. Sound good?"

Dean nodded, this time with more enthusiasm. He was eager to get more info on his brother's health condition.

"Now, this might be difficult to hear, so stop me if you need a break or want to talk through anything."

Dean didn't like feeling like he was being babied, but he also appreciated Karen's sincerity. He could tell that she cared about people.

"Alright, now when Sam first came in he was on deaths door. Based on what the police found at the scene, and Sam's state upon being admitted, it's believed that he was drained of just about all of his blood and then transfused with new blood. The police identified at least three different blood samples at the scene but they aren't sure exactly what that means or who it came from. Your brother should have died, or at least had severe brain damage due to the extended period of time his brain was low on blood. It's a miracle he survived at all."

"I got most of that already," Dean said. He was waiting for new information.

"Yes, well then you know that he was treated and the blood he was infused with is actually responding well to his system. He shouldn't have too many complications from that. That's the good news. Now, Dean," Karen stopped and looked at the young man next to her, "I know this must be hard to talk about, especially with your father passing, but is there a history of abuse in your family?"

"No." Dean's answer was quick. Not too quick, just quick, and to the point. Karen studied the man's face to see if he was hiding anything.

"There's no shame in admi–"

"My father may have been a lot of things. But he was never…he wouldn't…" Dean knew that his father had been tough on him and Sam, but he always had their best interest in mind. But then that was five years ago. After all, at this point all he knew was that his brother received some sort of back ally black market blood transfusion in a dirty warehouse. And his dad was there, making it happen. But he had to believe there was some sort of supernatural reason for it. It could have been some sort of necessary spell thing. Witches curse? He didn't know.

"Yes, I understand that, but isn't it true that you left your fathers care, let's see," Karen opened one of her charts, "five years ago? The police records have him on file saying to let you 'rot in jail' on account of stealing bread and peanut butter. Dean, why did you need to steal bread and peanut butter?"

"That was years ago." Dean said shrugging off her insinuations.

"For you, yes. But your brother has been in John Winchesters care for his entire adolescence. Dean, I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just trying to understand what is going on here." Karen flipped through some more of her papers, "I just want to make sure that you understand the environment your brother has been living in, so that you can better understand and help him."

"Look lady, Karen, I know my family isn't exactly the Brady Bunch, but we're fine." Dean could feel heat rising to his face. He knew she was trying to help, but she had no clue what it was like living with John Winchester. Dean knew Sam had probably had a rough couple of years, but that's the life. He'd offered to take Sammy out of it years ago, and the kid had turned him down. So that was his mistake.

"Alright Dean, I'll give it to you straight. Your brother is malnourished. He has all of his new wounds, two broken ribs, deep cuts along all of his major arteries, and a fractured jaw."

Dean stiffened.

"Your brother also has bruising that has got to be at least two weeks old. He has multiple scars including those caused by knife wounds, burns, and gunshot wounds. Now call me crazy, but those aren't exactly common for your typical seventeen-year-old boy. So either your brother is in a gang or you father involved him devil worship and was abusive."

"Devil worship?" Dean asked, where had she gotten that idea.

"There were strange symbols and sigils all over the warehouse where your brother was held. Some drawn with spray paint…others…with blood."

Dean almost smiled, but he knew that would be inappropriate at a time like this. This was good news though; there was something supernatural going on. His father hadn't just gone postal.

"Dean?" Robin asked approaching the two. "Sorry, am I interrupting anything?"

"No, we're done here." Dean said standing to give his wife a hug.

"I thought you might want to get some food," Robin suggested. Dean was usually adamant about getting his solid three meals a day, and then some. But she hadn't seen him eat since the night before. And it had been a long day at the hospital. Signing papers, seeing his brother for the first time in years, having to deal with doctors and social workers – Robin knew that Dean must be exhausted and famished.

**OK: So I know we haven't gotten to see a lot of Sam yet but don't worry, it's coming! Also, there will be flashbacks soon too. Stay tuned!**

**Please Review:) I love knowing what you think and hearing from you! It makes me so happy!**


	5. The New Place

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Sorry for the delay! It was finals and then traveling and then getting settled and ahhh anyways I'm back in action now! And here's a slightly longer chapter to prove it :) Thank you so much for all the continued support! I love seeing that you are reading and enjoying!**

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSNSPNSPNSPNSPSN

**1995**

**One month after Dean decided to stay at Sonny's**

"You know damn well that's not what I said John." Bobby spat into the phone. "Kid can stay here till he's got kids of his own for all I care. But he's been askin' about you. About Dean."

Sam was just around the corner in the hallway and his ears perked up at the mention of Dean's name. Maybe Uncle Bobby would get him some answers. Sam usually loved his time at Singer Salvage, but this time had been different. It hadn't been days or even weeks. It had been months. He didn't like getting too comfortable anywhere, because then leaving was all the more difficult. He knew that his dad would be back and at this point he was almost looking forward to it. At least then the inevitable would be over with.

"John. John you know that ain't right for – well fine, but how are you gonna care for your boy and hunt at the same time…you know damn well that ain't gonna work for a day…No look, forget it. Sam'll stay with me. No. John… Why, you stubborn a— " Bobby pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at it. He was fed up with John Winchesters inability to finish a conversation peacefully.

"Uncle Bobby?" Sam piped up as he came around the corner, trying to act casual.

"Hey, bud. You ready for some dinner?"

"Was that my dad?" Sam asked, knowing fully well that it was.

"What gave it away? The shouting?" Bobby asked with a laugh. He put a hand on Sam's shoulder. He was glad that he felt a little more meat on the boy. He'd been working on fattening him up a bit, but it hadn't been easy. Dean was really the only one who could provide enough encouragement in order to get Sam full at mealtimes. Bobby didn't know if the kid felt guilty eating his food, or if he just didn't have much of an appetite when he was nervous about his dad and brother. Either way, it had taken the first few weeks before Sam would really dig into Bobby's home cooking.

"Did he say anything about Dean? Did he find him ok? Are they coming soon?"

"Dean's fine." Bobby said, He would have said more but he knew John Winchester would be content to never speak to him again if he told the little secret about Dean not really being lost on a hunt after all. He didn't mind being cut out of John Winchester's life, but he didn't want to cut his ties to Sam and Dean.

"So they're coming soon then?" Sam didn't want to sound too excited, he really did love it at Bobby's, but he hadn't seen Dean in what seemed like forever.

"Yeah, well I guess your old man will fill you in on everything when he gets here. He said he'd be around to get you in a few hours."

"I'll go pack!" Sam shouted as he ran out of the room and up the stairs. He would have to be sure to pack the paper he had written in school. It was an assignment about heroes and Sam had written his on his one and only hero: Dean.

Bobby was afraid Sam might choke; he was shoveling in his food so fast.

"Slow down Sam, you got time to eat. It hasn't even been an hour since your dad called." Bobby set another piece of cornbread on the boy's plate. Might as well have him all filled up one final time before going back on the Winchester diet.

"Sorry Uncle Bobby, I'm just excited to see Dean again." Sam said through his full mouth.

"Yeah well –"

"You think he got hurt on that hunt?" Sam asked suddenly turning serious. "And that's why it took so long?"

"Nah," Bobby took another bite of chili, "John said he was fine… Safe."

Sam nodded happily, "good."

A series of honks filled the air.

"They're here!" Sam exclaimed jumping up from his chair. "Thanks again Uncle Bobby!"

Sam gave Bobby a quick hug before grabbing his duffle bag and running for the door. Bobby followed. He watched as Sam raced down the porch and into the backseat of the car. Not even bothering to notice the front seat was empty. John sped off before he could.

Poor kid.

...

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked as they peeled out of the salvage yard.

"He decided he didn't want to be a part of this family anymore." John said looking straight ahead at the open road.

Sam didn't know what to say to that. His dad had to be messing with him. Dean was all about family. Dean would never leave them.

"But – he… where is he? Where's Dean?" Sam could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"Listen to me Sam. Your brother isn't coming back. Get used to it. I'm going to need you to start pulling your own weight. No more fooling around. You're a real hunter now. You understand me?" John made sure his voice didn't waiver. He needed Sam to get it together. They were only two hours away from a hunt and he needed Sam on his game.

John didn't get a verbal response. He could only hear Sam quietly trying to hide his sobs.

"Do you understand me Sam?"

"But – "

"Sam."

"Yessir." Sam spat out. What was happening?

"Good. Now, it's just you and me from here on out. I won't tolerate your disobedience anymore, not in the slightest. There is no room for error. When I tell you to jump you say: how high? Got it?"

"Yessir." Sam answered again. He couldn't think straight. Where was Dean? How had this happened? Why did his father seem so calm about this? How was he supposed to do this without his brother?

"Is Dean – " Sam started.

"I don't want to hear that name ever again. Do I make myself clear?" John asked.

"Yessir."

John took a quick look into the rearview mirror to see his son wiping away tears, It wasn't fair to ask Sam to just forget his big brother in an instant. He knew Sam would have to adjust. Hell, it had taken him a month of bar hopping and self pity before he came to his senses and realized he had another son to get back to.

Maybe it was better this way. Dean had learned enough to keep him safe. Now John could focus on transforming Sam from a helpless child into a strong hunter. With Dean gone, Sam wouldn't have a brother to hide behind, he would have to step up his game.

John had no intention of forgetting his eldest, but he would no longer speak of him with Sam. No use in stirring up emotions on a consistent basis.

...

**Now**

The ride back to Hurleyville was awkward to say the least. Robin tried a few times to get a conversation going, but it wasn't working.

It was a relief to everyone when the truck came to a stop in the Winchester driveway.

"If you want to come with me I can get you set up in the … spare room," Robin said to Sam with a smile. Sam nodded and followed Robin's lead. Upon entering the little room Sam noticed that it wasn't just a spare room. The walls were painted pale yellow, a rocking chair was set up in the corner by the window, and instead of a bed, there was a baby's crib.

"We can pull the couch in from the living room, it converts into a bed. Not the most comfortable, but it should do until we can get something more permanent."

"No," Sam said, "I can't take the baby's room."

All of a sudden Sam was wondering where the baby was. A babysitter? Dean was a dad?

"Oh," Robin laughed, "there's no baby…well not yet."

"Oh," Sam nodded, "congratulations."

"No," Robin said with another little laugh, "I'm not pregnant."

Sam blushed. He'd seen tv shows and movies with embarrassing scenes like this.

"I'm so sorry. I mean you don't look—"

"Sam, you're fine. I know it's crazy to have a room for a baby when we don't have one yet. We just figured we would some day so…good to be prepared, right?"

Sam nodded, glad that she wasn't upset about the whole pregnancy comment. He liked her. She was kind, which was more than he could say about a lot of the people he was used to.

Dean knocked on the doorframe. "I'm gonna make a supply run. Need anything?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"What's your favorite food Sam?" Robin asked.

"Whatever." Sam shrugged.

"Come on there's gotta be something you really love." Robin encouraged.

Another shrug. Dean remembered this trait in Sam. Not wanting to be a burden. When Sam was really little he would beg their dad for Lucky Charms and other favorite foods, but he quickly learned that you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

"I want to have a nice welcome dinner." Robin said, "So what would you like to eat?"

"Um," Sam knew Robin was trying to be nice but he honestly had no clue what to say, "chicken?"

"Perfect!" Robin turned to Dean, "Pick up some chicken breasts and some asparagus. I have everything else we need."

Dean nodded and walked away. He would need to sit down and really talk through everything with Sam soon, he couldn't handle the awkwardness much longer.

...

"You don't have to eat anything you don't like," Robin said. She was watching Sam push around a piece of asparagus on his plate. It had taken him a good ten minutes to eat the other three pieces that had been on his plate.

"No, I really like it." Sam said. He wasn't lying. It was delicious; he had never had asparagus before. The diners he and his dad stopped in at usually only had the typical carrot, pea, and corn frozen veggie selection.

Everything Sam did sent Dean back into his childhood. He could remember watching Sam eat. It took so long it was almost painful, but he didn't eat slow because he didn't like the food. He ate slowly because he wanted it to last longer. The faster he ate, the faster he had nothing left to eat.

"There's plenty of food Sam. You can eat as much as you like here." Dean said. He watched, as Sam turned red. He didn't like all of the attention placed on him. "It's not like when we were kids, we have—"

"I'm fine." Sam said, starting to get a little angry.

"Fine." Dean said.

"So, do you think you'll want to wait awhile before starting school Sam?" Robin asked trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't go to school." Sam said after finishing his last piece of asparagus.

"What? You love school." Dean said, shocked by his brother's statement. Sam used to be a little bookworm.

"It's been five years, _Dean_. Things change."

Robin got up and starting carrying dishes into the kitchen, hoping to avoid the imminent explosion.

"I get that Sammy –"

"It's Sam."

"Fine, Sam, but cut me some slack here. I mean it's day one of us being back together. Don't expect me to know everything about – "

"I don't expect you to know anything about my life Dean. You left us. You left _me_." Sam forced himself to look at his brother. To stare him down and let him know that he had done wrong.

Dean sat with his mouth in a tight line. How was he supposed to explain himself. Sam wasn't wrong, but he also didn't have the full story. Plus it wasn't like he hadn't tried to reach out to his family over the years. It wasn't his fault that neither his dad or Sam seemed to want anything to do with him after his exit from the hunters life.

Sam stood from his seat at the dinner table and made a bee line for the front door. He needed to get some space. He needed to get out of Deans little perfect house, little perfect world. He didn't belong here.

"Sam wait!" Dean called out, Within a matter of seconds he had caught up with Sam. He reached out and grabbed the arm of the fleeing boy.

Sam cried out in pain as he felt his stitches rip underneath the bandages. Dean immediately released his grip.

"I'm so sorry! Sammy –"

"It's Sam!" Sam shouted as swung around and landed a punch on his brother's face. The punch came as a shock to Dean, who was out of practice and a bit slow. In the moment it took Dean to compose himself, Sam flung open the front door and started running.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up soon! Please leave a review! I really really really love them!**


	6. Run

**Disclaimer:I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thanks again for reading! I love getting your reviews and seeing new readers join in. Thanks! Hope you guys like this chapter!**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSN**

"Dean?" Robin came running out from the kitchen after hearing the commotion.

"I gotta go get him." Dean rubbed away the little line of blood coming out from the corner of his mouth.

"He ran away?" Robin almost added an 'already' but she didn't want to cause any trouble. She had anticipated some strong emotions and arguments but this was already more than she had imagined.

"He won't get far, I think I uh…ripped his stitches…accidentally."

"Of course." Robin raised an eyebrow. She should have kept a closer eye on the brothers. "Well let's get go find him."

"It's ok I'll go," Dean said grabbing his jacket off of the hook.

"Not without me."

"Robin he's my brother – "

"And you're my husband. Now let's get going before he gets too far."

…

Sam made it down the street and out to the main road before he really started to feel the effects of the stitches ripping. He was losing blood fast. Those cuts were deep and Dean hadn't exactly been gentle. Watching the blood seep out of his wound through the gauze reminded him of what had happened just a few nights ago. The memory made him shudder.

**A Few Nights Ago**

"You're sure this is going to work?" John asked. He watched as Castiel pulled a blade out from his trench coat and approached the metal table Sam was laying on.

"Yes." Castiel looked at the unconscious Winchester boy. The boy with the demon blood. An abomination.

"And he won't die?"

"It is likely that he will die. But I can bring him back." Castiel cut off Sam's shirt revealing a body covered in scars. "I can also remove these, when we are finished. Tie him down."

"Are you sure that we need –"

"John."

John nodded and got to work tying down his son. Sam started to stir. His eyes slid open as soon as John finished the final knot.

"Dad?"

"Hey, Sam."

"Dad what's going on?" Sam lifted his head to try and get a look at his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was his father's fist flying at his face.

"Remember how I told you that you needed help? Well…" John looked to Castiel, "well this man is an angel and he's gonna get you all the help you need."

"Angel? Dad? What – "

"I'll explain everything when this is over. I'm so sorry Sam, but this is the only way." John backed away from his boy.

"Shall we begin?" Castiel asked John.

"No!" Sam shouted as a blade was placed against his forearm. "Dad! Please!"

John closed his eyes and nodded his approval.

Once all of the incisions were made, it was just a waiting game.

"Dad, please…make…stop…please…" Sam's eyelids were drooping. His cries of pain had died down to whispered pleas. "Daddy?"

John could feel his heart trying to jump out of his chest. Sam only called him that when he was having a nightmare. If only this was just a nightmare.

"Isn't there another way? You're an angel, couldn't you just snap your fingers and change his blood?" John asked.

"It is not that simple."

"Well can you at least take the pain away or something?" Hearing the now quiet sobs of his child wasn't an easy thing to endure.

Castiel waved a hand over Sam's bloody neck. He didn't take away the pain; he just cut Sam's vocal cords…temporarily, of course.

"Thank you." John said with a sigh of relief, thinking his boy was no longer suffering.

….

"Hey, kid!"

Sam jumped. He turned to see that a man in a truck had pulled off to the side of the road.

"That blood?" The man asked.

Sam didn't answer.

"Hop in, I'll get you to the ER."

"No." Sam started walking again. He couldn't go back to the hospital. Too many doctors, questions, memories. Sam took another step and stumbled to the ground. The blood loss was really getting to him.

The man put his truck in park and hopped out.

"Hey, look kid, you need help." The man helped Sam up and escorted him to the passenger side door. "Now, your folks probably told you never to get into a strangers car, but something tells me they also never knew their boy would be bleedin' out on the side of the road. Name's Sonny. Now we're not strangers anymore, so let's get you in."

Sonny opened the door and helped Sam inside.

"Just hang on for a minute and we'll get you some help."

"No hospital." Sam started to fight back, trying to get out of the truck.

"Hey, hey look you need help." Sonny looked down at the bloody bandage as well as the clean bandages on the boy's other arm and his neck. He also noticed some blood on the kid's knuckles.

Sonny tried to get him to stay in his seat, but as soon as he'd step away from the door Sam would open it and try to flee.

"No hospital," Sam said again.

"Fine! Fine!" Sonny conceded. At this point he just needed to get moving so he could help the boy. "No hospital."

Sam nodded and let his head drop back on the seat.

"What's your name?" Sonny asked, as he put the truck in gear and sped off in the direction of the Boy's Home he ran.

"S'm."

"Sam? Sam what?" Sonny asked, trying his best to engage the boy and keep him from slipping into unconsciousness.

"Jus S'm." Sam may have been exhausted and weak but that didn't mean he was stupid. He didn't need this stranger knowing his life story.

"What happened to you?"

"N'thing"

"Uh huh." Sonny was growing more and more suspicious. Had the kid busted out of some psych ward or something?

"You got folks I should call?" Sonny asked.

Sam shook his head no.

"You got folks?"

Another negative.

"How old are you?" Sonny asked as he pulled to a stop in front of the house.

"Ol' nuff." Sam slurred.

"Mm sure." Sonny killed the engine and got to work getting Sam inside.

…

"Someone must have picked him up." Robin said looking down at the little puddle of blood. They had tried going off in every direction from the spot but the blood trail didn't go any further.

"Great!" Dean ran a hand through his hair, "Now he could be anywhere."

"Well anyone in their right mind would have taken him to a hospital." Robin said, trying to calm her husband.

"Yeah and just my luck he was picked up by some wackjob, and he's halfway to New Mexico." Dean didn't even want to start thinking about all of the horrible creatures Sam could be riding shotgun to.

"It's only been a few minutes. Come on let's go home, get the car and check the hospital and clinics."

Of course, Sam was nowhere to be found. The next few hours were spend driving around town looking for any sign of Sam.

"Dean…"

"He's around here somewhere." Dean said, his eyes scanning the roadside.

"Dean, honey, it's late. We're not going to find him tonight. We left our number with the hospitals so unless you want to call the police –"

"No." Dean didn't need the police finding out about this. He had just become Sam's legal guardian and he didn't need Sam being taken away from him again. He didn't know what the police would do.

"Alright…well how about we try to get some sleep and then start again at sunrise? We'll be more on our game, and maybe there will be some kind of street camera footage or something."

Dean didn't want to stop his searching, but he knew Robin was right. At this point there wasn't much he could do.

…

"Mornin' sunshine." Sonny boomed. He set a tray of steaming hot breakfast food down on the nightstand.

Sam tried to prop himself up but he couldn't find the strength.

"Hang on, I gotcha." Sonny helped ease Sam into a sitting position, propping him up against the headboard of the bed.

"Thanks," Sam whispered, embarrassed by his weakness.

"If you really want to thank me, you'll tell me your story." Sonny sat down on the empty twin bed next to Sam's.

Sam lowered his eyes. This man had been nothing but kind to him, but he didn't want to have to tell him anything.

"Come on Sam. You don't have an explanation for the guy who probably saved your life?"

Sam opened his mouth to protest, if Sonny hadn't stopped, Sam would have passed out and Dean would have stumbled upon him. At least, that's what Sam expected would have happened. Then again, Dean might have not bothered following. Sam didn't know who his brother was anymore, or if they were even brothers anymore.

"Surgery?" Sonny asked. He knew the kid didn't want him prying, but there were some things he needed to know if he wanted to make sure this kid didn't die in his house. He had noticed the precision of the cut while sewing it back up.

Sam shrugged.

"Self inflicted?" Sonny asked.

Another shrug.

"Gang?"

Sam shrugged again. This game was getting a little old.

"Your old man?" He had also noticed the smattering of cuts, scars, and bruises on the kid when he had switched out his bloody shirt for a clean one.

"No." Sam said just a little too fast and with a little too much ferocity.

Sonny nodded. He had seen his fair share of abused kids, but this boy took the cake. No wonder the boy hadn't wanted to give out a last name.

"Ok look Sam, I'm only trying to help you here. But I'm gonna need you to help me a little too. If you don't want to go back to your old man that's fine, but I can't keep you here without any legal authorization. I mean I have to at least let the CPS know you're here. I can't have the cops thinkin' I've turned into some kind of crazed kidnapper. Bad for business."

Sam kept his gaze low. He didn't know how he was going to get out of this little jam.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Finally, a little luck.

"I'm gonna get that. You dig in to my famous pancakes, and we'll finish this conversation when I get back."

Sam nodded. At least this would give him some time to think up some kind of game plan. His head was still a little foggy after last night.

Once downstairs, Sonny swung open the front door to greet his guest.

"Sonny."

"D-Dawg!" Sonny brought his boy into a warm embrace. "Married life treating you well? How's Robin?"

"Good, uh good, look I need your help." Dean looked like he'd just been hit by a bus.

"Anything kiddo." Sonny led Dean inside and shut the door behind him. "Need help burying a body?" He was just trying to get Dean to lighten up a bit.

"More like finding one." Dean sighed, "My brother, he – "

"Sam." Sony said. Things were becoming clear and muddled at the same time.

"Right, my brother Sam, he uh, well it's a long story…"

"Let me shorten it for you Deano. He's upstairs."

**Ok let me know what you think of this one! Next chapter up real soon :)**

**Please Review!**


	7. Back

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural :(**

**Thanks to all of those who are reading and favoriting and reviewing! I love it :)**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"What?!" Dean's eyes shot up to meet Sonny's.

"Yeah, I picked him up last night on the side of the road. Kid was in bad shape. I tried to take him to the hospital but he wouldn't let me. Looking back I probably should have anyways. He didn't give me a last name or anything. I had no way of knowing he was your baby bro."

Dean made a move for the stairs, but Sonny stopped him.

"Have you seen him lately?" Sonny asked with concern in his voice.

Dean nodded.

"Dean you can't let him go back to your old man. He wont survive it." Sonny didn't want to be so blunt but he didn't know how else to say it. He remembered that Dean had always defended his father's actions. Even the ones that hurt him bad.

"Sonny, this wasn't – "

"Dean, you don't have to make excuses. Just promise me that you won't send him back. He can stay here if you want."

"I won't. I um," Dean cleared his throat, he didn't want to cry, "I can't. My dad is uh, well he…" Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. Ah hell, the tears were coming whether he liked it or not.

"Oh. I'm sorry Dean." Sonny said pulling his boy in for a hug. He may not have ever understood Deans undying respect for the man he called his father, but he didn't have to understand the complex Winchester family dynamics in order to see that Dean was in need of a little comfort.

After a minute Dean had his emotions under control. Or at least, he had his emotions under a face that appeared controlled.

"So he's with you now?" Sonny asked.

"Yeah, just since yesterday" Dean nodded, "but he's not happy about it. I guess I can't blame him."

"He give you that?" Sonny asked pointing to the lovely bruise Dean was sporting.

"Hhm, yeah."

"Dean. I'm sure he's much better off with you than, well…look he's just gotta have some time to adjust. I can think of another Winchester boy who needed a little time." Sonny offered a smile.

"Guess you're right." Dean sighed.

"Always am." Sonny placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Now, why don't you go see to your bro. I'll be down here cleaning up the mess I made in the kitchen if you need me." Sonny had about a million questions for Dean but he figured this wasn't the time. Later.

Dean nodded and started up the stairs.

Sam heard a creak and looked up from his breakfast. Dean was standing in the doorway. Sam scowled and lowered his head again. Great.

"Good to see you too." Dean said with a half smile. This kid. "You really had me worried."

Silence.

"Sam, I can't live in this perpetual awkwardness. We're going to have to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." Sam said, looking down at his Frankenstein stitches.

"Really? Cus it seems to me you have a lot you need to get off your chest." Dean took a seat opposite Sam on the bed. "And I know I have some things I'd like to say to you. Like for starters…what the hell were you thinking running off last night?"

Sam shrugged. This was becoming his signature move.

"Sam. Answer."

"What do you want me to say?" Sam looked up at his brother with rage in his eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"I just want you to be honest with me. Tell me what's going on with you. I'm not a freaking mind reader. If you're angry about something tell me. Don't just go storming off into the night with an open wound!"

Dean gently rubbed his bruised face. Waiting for Sam to say something, anything. Minutes past. They weren't going to get anywhere with the heart to heart stuff today.

"I'm picking up the Impala today." Dean said. That got Sam's attention. "Don't worry, I took it out of the cops lot before they could really search her through and through. But she's just sitting in a motel parking lot down in Bethlehem right now. And I'm uh, also picking up…uh" Dean cleared his throat, "dad's ashes."

Sam stiffened.

"Had him cremated. Seemed like the right thing to do. Not sure what to do with them though. The ashes."

Sam wanted to say something. He wanted to tell Dean to keep those filthy ashes as far away from him as possible.

"Guess I'll figure out what to do with them soon enough."

Both brothers sat in silence. Their minds spinning with thoughts of the late John Winchester: hunter, drill sergeant, trainer…father.

"Well maybe I'll see if it's cool with Sonny for you to stay here for the next few hours. Robin's at the diner, she was going to come with me to find you but she's missed so much time there and now that's she's practically running the place, I told her to go… anyways… I have those errands to run. So. You good here?"

"I don't need a frickin' babysitter." Sam muttered.

"Yeah ok sure," Dean stood, "be back soon."

Sam inhaled sharply. "Be back soon." Dean had said that exact phrase before leaving for a routine grocery run five years ago.

**….**

**A few hours later**

"Thanks again Sonny," Dean said watching Sam make his way down the porch and into the truck.

"Anytime D-Dawg. And hey, swing by again soon and let's talk." Sonny said with a warm smile.

"You got it." Dean liked that idea. Over the years Sonny had been an amazing source of wisdom, advice, and genuine affection.

"Nice day?" Dean asked as he started up the truck.

Sam shrugged. It had been quiet at Sonny's. Mostly he just slept.

"Hmm well. Anyways, your shrink called me this today. Wants to meet you tomorrow after school." Dean watched for any sudden movement. School had set him off the other night, and Dean didn't want a repeat of that conversation.

"I'm not seeing a shrink…and I'm not going to school." Sam stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well your doctors and the state of New York say differently." Dean was trying hard to keep his tone of voice level and calm. "When did dad pull you out?"

"Last time I was in a real school, I was twelve." Sam said. He let that sink in for a minute before adding, "Then dad started _homeschool_."

Dean remembered their dad's _homeschool_ system. It would go into effect when they were somewhere during the school year for too short of a time to get into the public school system. All it meant was a lot of physical education, target practice, and… more physical education. Basically it was hunter boot camp, and it sucked.

"Dad said I could get a GED at sixteen, but that never happened. Too busy I guess."

"Yeah, well looks like that turned out to be a good thing cus now you can get a high school diploma."

"Don't care."

"Come on Sam, you don't have to play the apathetic card all the time. You've always been the smarter brother, I could tell right off the bat, I thought you'd be excited to get back into it."

"Yeah well, you thought wrong." Sam lied. The idea of getting a formal education did excite him, but it also made him extremely nervous. As of late his peers were hunters, hustlers, and himself. He wasn't exactly ready to jump into being a regular teenager. Yeah, he'd dreamed of it for years, but now that it was actually within reach, he wasn't so sure that it wasn't a nightmare.

"Plus, I'm in a lot of pain." Sam added. He wasn't actually in that much pain. Mostly just some discomfort.

Dean pulled out a bottle of pain pills from his pocket, "Picked these up from the pharmacy for you."

Sam looked down at the pills; there were a lot of them.

"You tired?" Dean asked as they pulled into the driveway of the Winchester residence.

"No?" Sam said, a bit unsure of what his response would mean.

"Good, because Robin is taking you to get some clothes for school."

"Actually," Sam faked a yawn, "I'm not feeling so great."

"Too bad. Because you're going."

Robin came out the truck and swapped seats with Dean. She gave him a kiss through the open window. Then she turned her attention to Sam.

"I was glad to hear you were ok. You had us worried last night." Robin said. She put the truck in reverse and started in towards town.

"Sorry, ma'am."

"Robin."

"Sorry Robin." Sam looked out his window.

"Just don't do it again." Robin was kind but there was firmness in her voice as well.

"Yes m—Robin."

"You know Sam, I'm not your drill sergeant. I'm your sister-in-law, and I feel like I don't even know you. I only know that you like chicken and… that's pretty much it actually. I'm going to tell you a secret: Dean talked about you once or twice, when he was drunk."

Sam looked over at Robin, watching her face as she spoke. He wondered what Dean might have said.

"He said one time you came back early from school and found him watching tv and crying. He said he told you it was some manly movie or something, but really it was Little House on the Prairie." Robin stole a quick glance at Sam. Her secret telling had paid off; Sam was wearing a little smile. "But tell me something else about you Sam."

Sam thought for a minute. What was there to say?

"What's your favorite thing to do in your spare time?" Robin asked. She could see Sam was struggling with something to share.

"Um." Spare time? Time between hunts. Time when he wasn't training or resting up from a fight gone wrong. "Read?"

"Awesome! What kind of books?"

Again Sam had to think. What was the last book he had read that wasn't research for a hunt?

"Moby Dick?" It had taken him forever to finish, not just because it was a lengthy book, but because he could only read when John wasn't around.

"Really? Wow. I could never finish it, not even for school." Robin smiled, happy to be having a conversation with Sam, it wasn't anything too crazy but it was some back and forth. "You must be pretty smart."

Sam just shrugged, unsure of how to respond to that.

"Well let's get you some clothes." Robin said pulling into a spot in front of the store.

The shopping excursion ended up taking longer than anticipated. Not because Sam was a big shopper, but because he almost flat out refused to get anything. He kept insisting that he had enough to which Robin would argue that one duffle bag full of clothes was simply not enough. They were both stubborn, but it was Robin who won in the end. Much to Sam's dismay, they left the store with new jeans, shoes, underwear, sweat pants, socks, t-shirts, flannels, a backpack and a jacket.

"Thank you." Sam said for the umpteenth time as they arrived home.

"Sam, it's not a problem. You needed some new clothes. Now quit thanking me. Besides, it's Dean's money we were spending."

"Maybe I should have gotten a few more things." Sam said with a little smile.

Robin laughed, she was glad that she had taken the opportunity to try and get to know Sam a little bit better. He was genuinely good. She could just sense it. She looked forward to watching him start to open up more and shake off all the negativity that had surrounded him. Sam's name had always been shrouded with mystery, she was glad that now she would finally get to see who he really was.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**That's it for this chapter! Hope you enjoyed :) Please leave a review and let me know what you think if you have a minute! :)**


	8. What Happened

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

**This one is a little short but I hope you enjoy it! Next one coming up real soon (and it's longer) **

**Thanks to everyone for reading and a BIG thanks to those who review. I love hearing what you have to say about the story!**

**SPN**

"You get everything you need?" Dean asked as Robin and Sam entered the house.

"We could have picked up a few more things but this will do for now." Robin answered. She gave Dean a kiss and sat down next to him on the couch.

"Hey Sam," Dean tossed a set of car keys Sam's direction. "It's more yours than it is mine. You can follow me to the school in the morning and I'll get you all set up then dig out. The garage only gives me so many personal days, I gotta get back to work sometime. Oh and I uh, cleaned out the trunk for you."

"What did you do with all of that…junk?" Sam asked, he was a little concerned. There were some pretty valuable weapons in that trunk, not to mention a lifetime of memories.

"Threw it all away for you." Dean said. When Robin turned to see Sam's reaction to that, Dean gave a little signal to let his brother know it was a lie. Maybe he wasn't a hunter anymore, but he remembered how much he cherished his favorite sawed off and his first knife. He wasn't just going to toss his brothers life.

"That's not your call. Don't ever touch my stuff again." Sam said, more to play along for Robin's sake than anything else.

"Sorry man, just thought I was doing you a favor."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Well," Dean stood, "you should probably get to bed. Big day ahead of you."

"Don't tell me what to do." Sam spat, the annoyance in his voice wasn't just for show, "You're not dad."

"I know." Dean cleared his throat, "But I am your older brother."

"If you say so." Sam said turning away and heading for his room. A door slamming signaled his full departure.

"It's crazy," Robin said in a low voice.

"What, Sam?"

"Just the way he gets riled up so fast when he's around you. At the store tonight, we had a good time, we talked, maybe not a lot, but he seemed like a nice semi-well-adjusted boy. But as soon as he's around you, he's worse than most of the boys who go through Sonny's place."

"He's just mad at me. I would be mad at me too."

"But why?" Robin sighed, "Yeah, you haven't seen him in years? But that's just because your dad was always moving around with work right?"

"It's more than that."

"Well what then? Did you like beat him up a lot when you were kids?"

"Just the opposite." Dean said. "Taking care of him was my responsibility."

"Ok so what?" Robin was starting to get annoyed. Dean had always brushed off any conversation about his family. When they first met as teenagers she had heard him talk a little about how he didn't exactly grow up with a typical childhood, but that was about all she knew.

"Look, it's not something I really want to get into right now."

"Not now or not ever?" Robin folded her arms across her chest.

"Both."

"Dean, I don't want to make you sleep on the couch so early in our marriage, but don't push me." Robin raised an eyebrow and waited for a response.

"It's a long story."

"I've got all night."

Dean sighed. He didn't even really know where to start and what to say. How was he supposed to explain the Winchester family style and moral code?

"You really want to do this now?" Dean asked.

"I can't think of a better time."

"Ok." Dean sat back down on the couch next to Robin. "Well, to start, my mom died when I was four years old, right? So, from then on, my mantra was 'take care of Sammy' it was all I ever heard from my dad and all I ever told myself. Job number one was looking out for that kid, before anything else."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on a kid." Robin said in a hushed tone. She didn't want to interrupt his flow of information but she was a little surprised at what she was hearing.

"Well, I did what I could, but it could be hard. Our dad would leave for work. He'd drop us in some broken down motel for days at a time, sometimes weeks. If he could, he'd pop in to check on us, make sure we had enough money for food. Make sure we were going to school. Sometimes we were fine and other times…it was tough." Dean paused for a moment, lost in the memories. "Well, one time he took off and I knew he was going to be away for a while, he'd left us a few bills and I figured with my poker skills I could get us a little more."

Dean stopped again. He wasn't sure if that was the stupidest thing he'd ever done or if it was a blessing in disguise. It got him out of the life.

"What happened?" Robin asked, pulling Dean back into the moment.

"You know, I don't think I've told this to anyone. Not even Sonny." Dean scratched his stubble, "I told Sammy I was going to get some groceries. We needed 'um bad. Told him I'd be back soon. Went out, played the game, lost everything. But I couldn't come home empty handed. So I tried to take the five-finger discount. Wound up at Sonny's."

"Ok…" Robin was still waiting to hear what horrible thing Dean had done to Sam.

"And I never saw Sammy again after that."

"I don't get it. Didn't the local authorities get ahold of your dad?"

"Yeah." Dean huffed.

"Dean?" Robin wanted it all, every detail.

"Look, my they told my dad where I was and he told them to let me rot. I'd screwed up and he wanted me to pay for it for a while. So I did for a few months. Then he showed up but by that time I had a life here. I had wrestling. I had Sonny. I had…you. I couldn't just walk away like I always had before. Sonny told me once that I would have to make decisions in my life that would be hard but I would have to chose what was right for me every once in a while. I told my dad to come get me after his next job." Dean sighed. "But he never came back."

Robin's face softened. She reflected on those first few months together with Dean. He was such a roller coaster of emotions back then, and so adamant about hiding his deep thoughts and issues from her. Now, she could see why. He must have been a disaster on the inside.

"Dean, I'm so sorry." Robin placed a hand over his. "I didn't even know what you were going through."

Dean smiled a bit, "well I wasn't exactly Mr. Let's-talk-about-our-deep-family-issues."

Robin smiled. He still didn't go by that name, although tonight was becoming a real game changer.

"Well anyways, I tried getting a hold of him. I tried all his numbers, I tried to reach out to his friends and acquaintances, but no one had anything for me. After a while, I figured he just wasn't coming back."

"And Sam?"

"Well Sam was just a kid when it happened, and I have no clue what kind of version of the truth Sam got from our dad. I'm sure he felt like I abandoned him, and to make matters worse I was the peacemaker between him and dad. So without me there to break up their arguments who knows what life was like."

"And you can't explain all of this to your brother because?…"

"Because he's not too fond of our little chats."

"Yeah but – "

"Maybe later. Just. I can't right now. So is that enough for now? Am I allowed in the bedroom tonight?" Dean said trying to lighten the mood.

"Hmm I guess I can allow it." Robin smiled.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

_Icy blue eyes. Sharp metal. So much blood._

_Sam could feel the penetrating look of the man with the blue eyes. _

_"I am here to purify your blood." And with a few quick incisions the blood started flowing. It kept flowing out of his veins. The warehouse was filling with it. Soon he was drowning. Drowning in his own blood. He tried to scream but he wasn't making a sound. He screamed again. And again. And again._

_"STOP! STOP! DADDY MAKE HIM STOP!"_

_Nothing but silence. And Blood. _

"Sam! Sam wake up!" Dean shook his sweaty brother. "Sam!"

Sam's eyes popped open and searched the dark room frantically. After a moment he remembered where he was.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was heavy with concern.

" 'm fine." Sam said, his throat feeling scratchy.

"Fine? Sam I think you woke up the whole neighborhood with your screaming. What was that?"

"Nothing." Sam turned on to side, to avoid eye contact. "I said I'm fine."

"Ok." Dean said, but he didn't sound convinced in the slightest. "Well…if you ever want to talk about it –"

" 'k thanks." Sam just wanted Dean gone. It was embarrassing enough to be having nightmares like some little kid.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

**A little drama at the end there haha! **

**Ok please review and let me know what you think! Next chapter covers Sam's first day at school...**


	9. Frankenstein

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural :(**

**Thanks a million for the reviews! They really made my day! :) I really love hearing from you guys!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"Class, say hello to our newest student, this is Sam Winchester." Mr. Miller said with a smile. The class of high school juniors mumbled a few hello's.

Sam stood awkwardly before the class. He had made sure to wear a flannel to cover his arm bandages. But the collar wasn't high enough to hide the scars on his neck, so he felt like a freak standing there with all eyes on him and his scars. He had considered purchasing a turtleneck shirt on his shopping trip with Robin but decided against it. A turtleneck was definitely worse than scars.

The teacher instructed him to take a seat.

"So, today we continue our class discussion on the reading. Who was the real monster? The murderous creation or Dr. Frankenstein?" Mr. Miller asked pulling out his copy of the novel.

"Hey," whispered a voice from the seat behind Sam, "hey Frankenstein why don't you chime in on this one?"

Sam rolled his eyes. Not only was he annoyed with the fact that the familiar bullying was starting so soon in his new high school career, he was annoyed with the incorrect literary reference. Frankenstein wasn't the name of the monster with the hideous scars.

"Hey, I know you heard me. Come on Frankie." The obnoxious teen whispered with a laugh.

"Carson? Do you have something to share on the subject?" Mr. Miller asked.

"No, Mr. Miller. I was just telling Frank uh I mean Sam, the page numbers." Carson wore a smug look as he spoke up to the English teacher.

"Well don't you think that would be more helpful if Sam had a copy of the reading?"

There were a few scattered laughs around the room. Mr. Miller grabbed an extra copy off of the shelf and handed it to Sam.

"Try to catch up if you can," Mr. Miller instructed with a smile, "if you can't we'll just figure out a different way to quiz you on the reading."

Sam nodded. No problem. With all the down time he was going to have now he would be finished in no time.

"He probably won't even have to read the book," Carson muttered to a nearby student, "he's already lived it."

Sam dropped his head and sighed, this kid had no idea. As much as he wanted to show Carson his monstrous side and put an end to the snarky comments, what he wanted more was to not make enemies on his first day of school.

The bell couldn't come soon enough. By lunch, everyone in the small school had heard about the quiet, thin, tall, new kid with scars on his neck. The Frankenstein.

Sam sat alone at a cafeteria table, not feeling up to breaking the ice with any of his new peers. Maybe high school really was as terrible as all those tv shows had taught him.

"Hey," came a voice from across the table. A girl with bright blue hair had settled across from him.

"Hey?" Sam said, unsure of why she was talking to him.

"I'm Nina."

"Sam."

"This school is full of jerks." Nina said before biting into her sandwich.

"Ok."

"Are you a jerk?" Nina asked.

Sam shrugged. Lately? Probably.

"Ok well at least if you are your honest about it, right? Soo…" Nina's eyes were focused on his neck, "I'm just gonna ask. Did you do that to yourself?"

Sam stared at her a little shocked.

"I know. I'm blunt. Probably why I don't have an entourage of friends." Nina took another bite of her lunch.

"No."

Now it was Nina's turn to look shocked. She hadn't really even thought about the possibility of the wounds not being self-inflicted.

"Oh."

The two of them sat there in silence. Until finally Nina spoke again.

"They always keep this stupid cafeteria ten degrees too cold." Nina complained. Sam nodded in agreement. The air conditioning was a bit much.

Nina unzipped her backpack and pulled out what looked like a huge tan jacket. But as she unfolded it Sam realized it was a trench coat. A tan trench coat. In a moment of panic Sam tried to back away, something that is kind of impossible to do while sitting at a cafeteria table. He ended up falling backwards off of the bench style seat and drawing the attention of majority of the students in the cafeteria. He pushed himself up off the ground and stood looking down at the coat in fear.

"Sam?" Nina asked, thoroughly confused.

"What? Why?" Sam's breathing was heavy. Then he noticed all the eyes on him. Flustered, he turned and booked it to the bathroom down the hall. Great! He was a grade A freak and he had probably just scared away the only person who had bothered to try to talk to him.

**SPNSPNSPN **

"So how was the first day?" Dean asked as they sped down the freeway towards Poughkeepsie.

"Fine." Sam said.

"Hm really?" Dean kept his eyes on the road, "That's not was I heard from your councilor."

Sam spun his head so fast he almost ripped a stitch.

"Yeah, I got a call. You can't just skip out after lunch on your first day and expect nobody to notice. The teachers were expecting you."

"Yeah, well…" Sam drifted off. He didn't really want to explain.

"Apparently, you saw a uh trench coat? During lunch and freaked out before getting the hell out of dodge. Want to tell me what that's about?" Dean sounded equally confused and concerned.

Word travels fast.

"Not really."

"It was too fast. Wasn't it?" Dean sighed, "I guess I just thought if I could get you right into something normal, some kind of normal life, you wouldn't have time to think about…about whatever happened. I don't know. It was stupid. I'll pull you out. You can go back in two weeks, or months, or whenever you're ready."

As much as Sam liked the idea of not having to go back to school tomorrow, he knew it would be even worse if he didn't show up.

"It's fine. I'll go tomorrow."

"Sammy, you don't have –"

"It's Sam, and I'm going."

The rest of the drive was quiet. Soon they pulled in to small parking lot of Dr. Wright's office. Dean didn't like the idea of being left out of the meeting but there wasn't much he could do about it.

"So Sam, tell me what brings you here today?" Dr. Wright asked leaning back in his plush chair. Sam was seated on a comfortable couch, but his face portrayed anything but comfort.

"Doesn't it tell you in that file?" Sam asked motioning to the file with his name on it.

"Yes, but I want to hear your take on it."

"Ok, I'm some kind of post traumatic victim with a messed up family."

"Tell me about the traumatic experience."

"Some wack-job tried to kill me." Sam stated with little emotion.

"Do you know why?"

"No." Sam nearly shouted, he was trying to keep his emotions at bay, but it hadn't been the easiest day for that.

"Sam, you know you don't have to lie to me. Whatever you tell me stays between the two of us. Not even your brother will know what you tell me."

"Ok."

"Ok, how about we shift topics? How are things going with your brother?" Dr. Wright asked.

"You know I think I remember him saying something about having to rid the earth of my blood." Obviously trying to escape answering any questions about family.

"The wack-job or your brother?" Dr. Wright asked with a slight smile.

"Wack-job." Sam clarified.

Dr. Wright nodded and wrote something down on his notepad.

"Now, it says in your file that when you woke up in the hospital they had to switch your doctor due to his eye color. You were having panic attacks because of the doctors blue eyes."

Sam stiffened. He remembered that. He had been pretty loopy, but he remembered seeing the doctor come into his room. The doctor had clear blue eyes. Just like the monster who tortured him.

"Have you always had an aversion to blue eyes?"

Sam shook his head no.

"Sam, are my eyes a problem for you?" Dr. Wright asked.

"No, yours aren't like Cast…" Sam drifted off. Dr. Wright had dark blue eyes but they almost looked too muddy to really be blue, they were almost just a dark grey.

"Aren't like what, Sam?"

"Nothing."

The remainder of their time spent together consisted of Dr. Wright asking questions and Sam either responding with a yes, or a no, or a shrug. He just wanted it to be over.

**SPNSPN **

By the time they made it home from Poughkeepsie, Sam was drained. He politely asked Robin to be excused from dinner and she of course obliged, provided that he take some food into his room in case he got hungry later.

Time flew by as Sam sat around in his room trying not to think about his situation. Sam flopped down on his bed and popped open his little bottle of pain pills. Maybe he wasn't physically in a world of pain, but it had been a rough day. Just as he was about to toss a few down, there was a knock at the door. Sam returned the pills to the bottle and stuffed it under his pillow.

"Sam?" came Robin's voice from outside his door.

"Come in."

Robin creaked open the door, "Hey your friend is here. She wanted to see you. Should I send her in?"

"My friend?" Sam wasn't sure he had one of those.

"Nina?"

"Oh, um." Sam sat up on his pull-out bed and scooted down to the end of it. "Sure."

Robin opened the door wider and Nina entered.

"Let me know if you guys need anything," Robin said before shutting the door.

"Hey," Sam said looking down at the floor.

"Hey. You left this at school." Nina said tossing Sam's backpack on his bed as she sat down, giving adequate space between the two of them. "Your home address was on your class schedule in your bag. I'm not like a crazy stalker."

"Thanks." Sam said.

"Yeah, well it was the least I could do after freaking you out so hardcore."

"You didn't freak me out." Sam responded hurriedly.

"Really? Cus you looked pretty freaked."

Sam shrugged.

"So this bed turns into a couch?" Nina asked.

"Yeah."

"Maybe we should make it a couch. I may look wild but I don't usually hang out on boys beds."

"Um ok." Sam's face flushed.

Nina stood and lifted a pillow in preparation for the bed to couch conversion. She stopped cold when she saw the prescription pill bottle.

"Sam?"

Sam looked to see what Nina was staring at.

"Oh, sorry." Sam snatched up the bottle and stuffed it in his pocket. He got to work converting the bed. Soon they were sitting in uncomfortable silence on the couch.

"Are you sure you're not hurting yourself?" Nina asked.

"Thanks again for bringing me my backpack." Sam said looking away.

"I just want to make sure you aren't being stupid."

"They're for pain." Sam said, sounding defensive.

"I never said they weren't." Nina sighed, "So if I promise not to wear my trench coat ever again will you let me sit by you at lunch tomorrow?"

"Why?" Sam asked. Genuinely shocked at her wanting to spend time with him.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because everyone at school thinks I'm freak and you're the only new person in the history of forever and I could use a friend."

Sam looked at Nina, really studying her out. She didn't look like a freak. Yeah the blue hair was a little out of the ordinary, but she was a pretty girl. She had big brown eyes and clear skin. She had on jeans and an oversized t-shirt. What was so freakish about that?

"I don't think you're a freak."

Nina laughed, "Yeah, well you don't really know me yet. So are we cool?"

Sam nodded.

There was a knock at the door before it opened and Dean stepped inside.

"It's getting late Sam." Dean said shifting his gaze between his brother and the blue haired girl next to him.

"It's nine o'clock." Sam stated with a hint of sass.

"You've had a long day." Dean said, and Sam knew he also was thinking about the sleepless night he had endured.

Sam let out an exasperated sigh.

"See you tomorrow." Nina said as she stood to leave.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Hope you liked that chapter! Tell me what you think :) Next one up soon (with some flashbacks...).**

**Please leave a review if you have a minute! I love them!**


	10. 2nd Day

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural :(**

**Hey thanks a million to all the readers and people who are following and favoriting :) **

**Special thanks to all those who review! I love getting your comments and motivation to keep writing! You are awesome.**

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Heaven**

"Yes, but did you finish the transfusion?" Gadreel asked.

Castiel lowered his head.

"Castiel!" Gadreel scolded in a hushed voice. "You managed to ward yourself against nearly every creature known, and yet the local police were able to find you and interfere?"

"To smite them would have drawn too much attention from Heaven." Castiel said.

"Agreed. But could you not have devised a different plan?"

Castiel paced in front of the cell.

"And now he is living with the vessel of Michael?" Gadreel asked.

"Yes. I know. This was not the plan, but then the plan never would have worked would it?"

Gadreel sighed.

"I filtered his blood multiple times and yet traces of demonic agents continued to develop. You said nothing of this…defect."

Gadreel stood and paced in his cell. There wasn't much he could do from a locked cell in Heaven's prison. His intel was a bit limited.

"Perhaps it is better this way," Castiel concluded, "better to let the Winchesters live out their destiny. Play their roles."

"Do you really believe that brother?" Gadreel asked.

"What I believe is what I have always believed, it is not my place to question my orders…unlike some." Castiel stood a little taller. "It was foolish of me to believe that I could alter that which is destine to occur. The Winchesters will continue on their course and everything will go according to the plan."

Castiel made his way to the exit of the room.

"You will regret this." Gadreel called after him. "It seems that unless Sam Winchester is nothing more than a memory and a scattered lot of molecules, the demons will have their way with him. Lucifer will rise."

"You are wrong." Castiel said, turning on his heels. He spoke in a whisper, unsure of who might be trying to listen in on the conversation. "Not only would his physical matter require destruction, his particles and his soul would need to be contained, locked in either the depths of hell or the prisons of heaven."

Gadreel tilted his head, an idea forming, "it could be done."

"No." Castiel said. "No more of your deceit."

**SPN**

"You thought it would be a good idea to just let a girl into his room and then close the door?" Dean asked as he pulled on a cotton t-shirt that he slept in.

Robin shrugged and folded down the covers.

"You do know that he's a teenage boy. Right?" Dean was trying to keep his voice steady and not let on how concerned he was.

"Yes. I think I'm pretty aware that your brother is a teenage boy. I also know that he's a good kid." Robin smiled and slipped under the covers.

"You don't know that." Dean said climbing in after her.

"I can tell." Robin said. "He's good…then again. He is _your _brother soo…"

"What are you trying to say?" Dean asked with a smile as he switched off his bedside lamp.

"I think you can remember some of the trouble you got us into behind closed doors." Robin said with a sly grin.

"I got us into? It was all me?" Dean said pulling his wife closer to him.

"Well, maybe not all…" Robin giggled.

This has to be one of the deepest levels of hell, Sam thought to himself as he pushed his pillow up against his ears. From his bedroom across the hall he couldn't hear any conversation between Dean and Robin, but he could hear…other things. Things he did not want to hear. Apparently his brother didn't realize how thin the walls were in his little house.

Sam was early to school the next morning. Not because he was anxious to socialize, but because he needed some information. Soon he was on the phone, using the manliest voice he could muster. It only took a few calls.

The last call he made was to Uncle Bobby.

"Hello?" Bobby answered on his personal line.

"Hey Uncle Bobby, it's Sam."

"Sam," the name was said with a mix of love, worry, and excitement. "How you been boy?"

"I'm alive."

"Good to know." Bobby let out a long sigh, "You'd be surprised at some of the rumors they're running about you and your daddy in Hunters Quarterly."

Sam could hear Bobby's smile through the phone.

"Dad's dead." Sam said.

Silence on Bobby's end. Sam knew Bobby wasn't exactly the president of the John Winchester fan club, but he also knew that Bobby would never berate a dead man.

"You holding up?" Bobby asked after a minute.

"Suppose so." Sam sucked in a gulp of air. He still had mixed emotions when it came to his dad, and he probably always would. No amount of talk therapy with Dr. Wright could fix that relationship. After Dean abandoned them, John had nothing better to do than fixate on his two obsessions: finding the thing that killed Mary, and turning Sam into a mini version of himself. Neither of those obsessions ever fully came to pass.

"You coming to the Salvage yard? I can make up your old room."

"I wish I could." That was no lie or flattery.

"Why can't you?"

"I'm uh…the authorities, they found him." Sam still struggled with his brother's name, the name that had been treated as a curse word for so many years, "Dean. They found…Dean. So, he's my legal guardian."

"Oh." Bobby said, unsure of what else to add to that.

"Yeah."

"Well?" Bobby asked.

"Well what?"

"How is that working?"

"It's not." Sam sighed, "But there's not a lot I can do about that."

"Oh really? You couldn't maybe…talk with him. Tell him how you feel?"

"You're worse than my shrink." Sam said with a little laugh.

"Shrink?"

Sam rolled his eyes, he hadn't meant to disclose that bit information.

"Yeah well, I guess this gets me to my next point of discussion. I don't know how much you heard, but uh, things got real weird real fast after the last hunt with my dad. Long story short, the cops found me tied down in a warehouse, they thought it was my dad who was bleeding me dry, but it wasn't…at least, well there was somebody else there. Someone or something that had my dad under some kind of trance or something I don't know. All I know is my dad was calling this monster Castiel." Sam felt a chill run down his spine as he spoke the name.

"Castiel?" Bobby asked trying to keep his emotions in check and focus on the facts Sam was feeding him.

"Yeah, and there were all these crazy symbols and sigils on the walls and windows. Stuff I've never seen before. I don't remember exactly what they look like but I made a few calls and the crime scene photos should be showing up at your place in a few days. I thought maybe you could – "

"I'll see what I can find on them." Bobby promised.

"Thanks." Sam smiled; he could always count on Uncle Bobby.

"If there is anything else I can do you for Sam…"

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Really this is all that matters right now. This Castiel thing vanished before the cops raided the place, so I just need to know what he is and –" Sam lowered his voice, "and how to kill it."

"I'm on it." Bobby said. He didn't like the idea of another Winchester starting down the path of vengeance, but he also knew that once a Winchester got hold of an idea, he didn't budge.

The bell rang out overhead.

"What was that?" Bobby asked.

"Bell."

"I know that you idjit."

"I'm going to school. It's a school bell."

"Well I guess I better let you go then." Bobby said; he was beaming. He loved the idea of Sam in a real school. "I'll let you know what I get from those photos."

"Thanks."

The first part of the day was relatively smooth. Only a few little comments from Carson in English. No big deal. Lunch was next. Today Sam's goal was to make it through the entire lunch block without any drama.

"Would it be weird if I started wearing flannel too?" Nina asked as she slid into her seat across from Sam at the lunch table.

"Um?"

"I mean I wouldn't do it like to copy you or anything. It just looks really comfy. Is it comfy?"

"I guess." Sam offered.

"Yeah, fashion sense isn't really my strongest character point. I just do what feels comfy. Like that uh," Nina stopped talking to mouth the words 'trench coat.' She cleared her throat and continued, "I just wear it because it's comfy and it's long enough to cover up an entire outfit. I mean I could walk around wearing a clown suit or a cocktail dress or I could even be naked under that thing and nobody would know. But it's cool. I won't wear it again. Anyways, enough about me. What's it like living with your older brother and his wife?"

Sam gave Nina a puzzled expression.

"Robin told me that you and Dean are brothers." Nina explained.

"What else did she say?" Sam asked.

"Nothing." Nina took a few bites of lunch, "Well I mean she said you were cool, like nice and funny."

"She said that?" Sam asked with a little smile.

"Yeah. Robin is great. Dean seems cool too, I don't really know him but my older sister has had a little crush on him since he moved here. He was like the cool mysterious James Dean kind of guy I guess. I'll never forget how bummed my sister was when Dean took Robin to that school dance. I think that's when she knew she didn't stand a chance. I mean they even made "cutest couple" in the yearbook. They're like the Sonny and Cher of Hurleyville…except totally inseparable. How do I always end up doing all the talking in our conversations?" Nina stopped to eat more.

The bell rang and the cafeteria turned into a room of chaos.

"You can just walk with me if you want." Nina offered. "We have class together. Chemistry. Again, not a stalker, it was on your schedule, which I had to read to give you your stuff back."

Sam nodded. He liked having a friend.

Upon entering the chemistry classroom Sam let out an exasperated sigh. Carson. Really? He couldn't escape this punk.

"Hey, look it's Frankie!" Carson called out with a smug look on his face.

Mr. Mendez, the science teacher looked genuinely confused.

"Is that the name you prefer going by?" Mr. Mendez asked, looking down at his class roster.

"No. My name is Sam Winchester."

"Ok, yeah that's what I have here." Mr. Mendez said, happy to be back on the right track. "Class this is Sam Winchester, he's new here so let's all be welcoming."

"Hey, seat's open over here." Carson said.

"Thank you, Carson," Mr. Mendez pointed Sam over to Carson's lab table. "Looks like you can work with Carson today."

Sam took a seat at the table next to Carson. Great. Just great.

Mr. Mendez explained the assignment and turned the students loose to conduct the lab experiment.

"Hey, what happens when you set Frankenstein on fire?" Carson asked with a laugh as he pushed Sam's sleeved arm down over the open flame. Within seconds Sam's flannel was ablaze. Students backed away in shock and fear. Sam frantically searched for something to put the fire out while Nina hysterically screamed for Sam to take off his outer layer. Mr. Mendez ran for the fire extinguisher, but he had never used one and was trying to read the instructions and follow the diagrams.

The heat was too much and the flames had climbed up his arm and onto his shoulder. Sam finally came to the conclusion that he needed to shed the flannel, but it wasn't enough, his black t-shirt was also under attack. He whipped it off. The shirt hit the ground and he stomped the fire out.

Once the flames were extinguished the student's attention turned to Sam's exposed upper body. Not only did he have his lovely stitch work to display, he also had an array of cuts, scars, and bruises. There was a particularly repulsive mess of bruises over his ribcage. Purple, black, blue, green. And for those with a view from behind, there was a large burn mark covering the lower half of his back.

After Nina took a second to get over the initial shock, she pulled her jacket off from around her waist and thrust it into Sam's hands.

Sam didn't care that it was purple. He also didn't care about the fact that when he put it on and zipped it up it didn't fully cover his torso. He was mostly covered and that was all that mattered.

"Well," Mr. Mendez said, wiping sweat off of his brow. "Well class, let's uh –" The bell cut him off and the students started packing up their bags, but their focus was still on Sam. It was like they were trying to use x-ray vision to see through the purple jacket and back at his mutilated body.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Sam burst through the front door and strode towards his room.

"Hey," Dean said, "what's with the purple jacket?"

"Nothing," Sam called back as he entered his room. He closed the door behind him and shut his eyes. Trying to shut out the memory of the day he'd just endured. Then he opened his eyes. His room. It was different. The crib and rocking chair were gone; his couch bed was also missing. Sam opened the door and went back to where Dean was sitting in the living room.

"Where's my furniture?" Sam asked.

"I'll tell you as soon as you tell me when it became cool to dress like that." Dean said with a little smirk.

"Don't want to talk about it." Sam said plopping down on the opposite end of the couch. He'd found the couch bed.

"Ok. Well, I figured you might want to make your room…more yours."

Sam looked at Dean confused.

"I remember how hard it was, moving from motel to motel." Dean could see Sam grow visibly tense. He didn't like when the past was brought up. "Well, anyways, I always dreamed of what I'd do with my own room. Not a motel room, or a room at Uncle Bobby's or Pastor Jim's. I thought maybe you'd like your own room too. Garage was real slow today, and there's a sale on paint down at the hardware store."

Sam nodded. He could see where Dean was going with this.

"And then maybe we could swing by the furniture store and see if there's anything you need. We can even get you a waterbed if that's still what you like." Dean said.

Sam almost laughed. He couldn't believe Dean remembered that. Sam must have been about eight when he saw a waterbed for the first time. He was so excited about it.

...

_"What are we doing here Dean?" Sam asked as they strolled down the isles of the mattress store. "Why couldn't we just go in that other store with Dad?"_

_"Why do you have to ask so many stupid questions Sam?" Dean asked with a glum expression. He wasn't exactly thrilled about killing time in the mattress store either but Dad had told him to stay there until he was done talking to a friend in the next store over in the dumpy shopping center. Dean wasn't stupid. He knew his dad was gathering information for a case he was planning on working. Shapeshifter, that was Dean's guess, but he hadn't been filled in yet._

_"My teacher said that there is no such thing as a stupid question." Sam retorted._

_"Yeah, well your teacher is a liar." Dean shot back. Usually he would humor his brother and answer a few of his questions, but today he wasn't feeling it._

_"Wow! Dean. Look at that bed!" Sam nearly shrieked as he ran towards a bed that was slightly bouncing. Sam pushed down on the mattress and watched it bounce around._

_"What's inside it!?" Sam asked looking up with wide eyes and a huge grin._

_"Jell-o." Dean answered with a straight face._

_"No way! A jell-o bed? That's the coolest thing ever!" Sam pressed down on the waterbed again. "Wait. How do you keep the jell-o from getting all old and gross?"_

_"You have to keep on making fresh batches of jell-o ever couple of weeks. It's a real nightmare." Deans sour mood was changing into delight as he watched Sam's face twist in confusion._

_"Why would anyone want this bed then?" Sam asked. "That sounds like a lot of work."_

_"Well, Sammy, some people really love their jell-o. In fact most of the people who buy this type of bed are really really fat and they like it because in the middle of the night they can just reach down into their mattress and get a little midnight snack." Dean was trying to keep a serious face on but he slipped up and let a smile loose._

_"You liar!" Sam punched his brother's arm. "This isn't full of jell-o!"_

_Dean looked down at Sam's face and couldn't hold it in. He burst out laughing._

_"I can't believe you bought that!" Dean said._

_Sam wanted to be angry at Dean for fooling him but Dean's laugh was contagious and he couldn't help joining in._

_"A jell-o bed…" Sam laughed. "Maybe the people who are on a diet put sugar free jell-o in their beds."_

_"Sugar free!" Dean laughed. It felt good. Once their laughing subsided Dean sat down on the edge of the waterbed._

_"So is there just water inside?" Sam asked._

_Dean nodded._

_"That's still pretty cool. You would feel like a person lost out at sea or something I bet." Sam got a far away look in his eyes. "Like there wasn't any land, or road, or dirty hotels or bullies, or anything for miles."_

_"Why would you want to fall asleep feeling like you were lost at sea?"_

_"Might just be nice." Sam shrugged. Might be nice to get away from his crappy childhood. _

...

Thinking about that day in the mattress store, Sam smiled. He actually smiled, teeth exposed, dimples in full force. Dean felt like his heart was literally warming up. He hadn't seen that smile in years. He missed that smile. Right then he promised himself that he would see it again, and he would see it often. All he wanted was for Sam to be happy, to finally be happy.

The trip to the hardware store didn't take long. Sam found what he wanted right away. The whitest white possible.

"White?" Dean asked. "Out of every color possible you want white?"

"Yeah." Sam said, and that was the only explanation he was giving. He had his reasons. He had his fill of ugly wallpaper and mysterious stains on colored motel walls. With white walls his room would be clean.

Next up was the trip to the furniture store. With some urging from Dean, Sam selected a desk and chair as well as a bed. It wasn't a waterbed, Sam had grown out of that phase, but it was very comfortable and long enough that his feet wouldn't hang over the edge. Dean arranged to have the furniture delivered later that night.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**A little Sam and Dean bonding coming up next...**

**Thanks for reading! If you have a sec, I would love it if you could leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	11. Talking

**Ok well sorry I took like the longest break in the world. Things have been super crazy lately! Anyways I hope you like the chapter and I am still working on this story so there will be more. Hopefully you guys haven't forgotten about it haha. I haven't! **

**Thanks! So much to all of you who have been reading a reviewing and reminding me to post more :) You rock!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

"Alright we better bust this project out," Dean said opening the paint can and getting the rollers ready. The two brothers worked in silence. Dean occasionally hummed a few bars of some classic rock song.

With the two of them working full speed, it wasn't long before the walls were cotton white.

"Wow." Dean wiped a few beads of sweat from his brow. "That's what I'd call white."

Sam nodded and the corners of his mouth turned up in a little smile.

Satisfied with their work, the two brothers took a seat on the floor of the room.

"So," Dean started, but his cell phone rang out interrupting him.

"Hey Robin," Dean said, answering the phone. "Yeah…that's great…what did I ever do to deserve you?..haha! Ok I love you too. Bye."

"Robin will be late at the diner tonight. She ordered us a pizza. Should be here soon." Dean looked down at his phone after hanging up. "Missed call and a voicemail from your school?"

Dean turned his attention to Sam who was looking at the floor.

"Why is it that I get calls from your school every day?" Dean was clearly perplexed; "You were always the good student. I was the one sticking gum on the teachers seat."

Dean waited for a reply but Sam was silent.

"Sam – "

"It's not like I'm asking for trouble." Sam muttered.

"I didn't say you were. Sam," Dean sighed, "Look I'm not going to say I know what you're going through because, well hell, I have no clue what you're life has been like for the last few years. I do know that it's hard adjusting to this normal-apple-pie life, and I'm sure it's probably a lot different for you than it was for me. I had Sonny. I had Robin. I just hope you know that I'm here for you. For…whatever you need."

"Wow. When did you turn into such a girl?" Sam scoffed, but there was humor in his voice.

Dean gave his little brothers shoulder a playful nudge. He was careful to be gentle.

"Yeah well, I mean it." Dean cleared his throat. "So should I listen to the voicemail or you wanna just tell me what happened today? Wait, I know, you stole some girls purple sweater and refused to give it back."

"I wish," Sam said fidgeting with the laces of this shoes, "there was a little…fire."

"Fire?!"

"It was small. Nobody got hurt. Nothing was damaged." Sam shrugged a little, "well just my shirt."

"Sam, were you burned? Are you ok?" Dean inquired, instantly turning into a mother hen. "Did you rip any stitches?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine? Are you sure?" Dean stood and started putting the lids on the paint cans, "I'll take you to the doctor right now just to be safe."

"Woah! Calm down. I'm fine. Seriously." Sam almost smiled as he watched his flustered brother. Dean used to get so riled when Sam was hurt or in any kind of danger. While it was kind of annoying, it also made Sam feel noticed.

"You're sure?" Dean questioned.

"I'm sure." Sam said looking into his brother's eyes. Those same green eyes that were always so full of love and concern.

The doorbell rang, breaking their eye contact.

"Pizza." Dean said.

Sam's stomach grumbled a bit announcing hunger.

The paint mess was cleaned, the pizza devoured, and the furniture delivered and mostly assembled.

"Well, we got the bed done and that's the most important part right?" Dean asked as they stared at the bed in the middle of the room.

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

The walls probably could use a bit more time before any furniture was pushed up against them.

"It's getting pretty late." Dean said looking down at his watch. "You tired?"

Sam shrugged.

"Yeah, me neither." Dean scratched the back of his head waiting for a thought to come.

"Hey, uh since Robin's not here you think you could show me where you put all my stuff?" Sam asked.

"Oh, right yeah good idea." Dean led the way down hall to the cellar door. The light down there was broken so they used a small flashlight that was kept at the top of the stairs.

"This place isn't asking for a ghost or anything." Sam muttered.

"I have plans to finish this area, turn it into a nice man-cave. But yeah, I see your point." Dean led the way across the room. "Here's your stuff."

A small pile of boxes labeled 'car parts' sat before them.

"Figured Robin wouldn't have any interest in looking through these." Dean said reaching down to open one of the boxes.

Sam also began the process of opening up the boxes and gazing at the contents inside by the light of the dim flashlight.

"Dad would be so pissed if he knew I wasn't cleaning these regularly." Sam said pulling out a sawed off shotgun.

"Well it's not like you've had to use it all that recently."

Sam shrugged.

"Sam, I'm out. I'm done with the life. I never thought I'd hear my self say that but it's true." Dean looked from the box of weapons to his scarred little brother. "You can be done too."

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not done. Not until…"

"Until what? Until you find the thing that killed mom? Because look where that got Dad. Dad nearly drove himself mad trying to find the damn thing. He was obsessed and now you want to ruin your life over it too? You want to die trying to do what? What will completing Dad's mission do for you Sam?"

Dean's heart rate was increasing and he could feel a little pit of anger in his stomach growing just thinking about his younger years with John Winchester.

"I don't remember you thinking Dad was so crazy back when you were hanging on his every word and waiting for orders." Sam shot back. He wasn't about to defend John Winchesters actions, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to agree with Dean. He wasn't even talking about finding the thing that killed his mom though. Sam just wanted to hunt down this Castiel thing and make sure his cold blue eyes never saw the light of day again.

"That was a different time. It was all I knew. But I never had to be a perfect little soldier. I know that now."

"Is that what your shrink told you?"

"No. Why, is that what yours told you?" Dean was trying to keep his cool.

"Why don't you just shut up." Sam threw his weapon back into the box. "You obviously know nothing about my life."

"And why is that Sam?" As soon as the words left his mouth Dean knew he'd asked the wrong question.

Sam laughed in disbelief. "Seriously? You don't know why you don't know anything about my life? Probably because you haven't been in it. Where were you when Dad pulled me out of school? Where were you when I was left alone in those stupid motel rooms for days with no money for food because Dad left too drunk or distracted to think about what I might need? Or worse, when I was dragged along and forced to kill. I was just a kid. You weren't there to save me when I was drugged by the djinn. You weren't there when I got turned by a vampire and Dad almost put me down. You weren't there when I was being roasted alive by witches. I could go on but I think you get the point Dean. You just weren't there. Ever."

Dean's mind about to explode with this new information. He wanted to ask about all these hunts; when they happened, how Sam was still alive…and human. But he didn't have time to ask because Sam started right back up again.

"Did you ever even stop for a second to think about what your abandoning us might mean for Dad or for me? Or were you too busy kissing your girlfriend and winning your stupid wrestling championships to stop for one damn minute to think about us?"

"Don't act like you never heard from me once in these past five years." Dean didn't like being accused of abandoning his family, but he couldn't help but feel a little pang of guilt. He had asked for his dad to come back for him. It wasn't his fault that John never came back. "I left countless messages for Dad on any phone he had ever used. How was I supposed to know which grungy motel or vacant house you and Dad were holed up in? Dad knew where I was. He could have come back for me at any point in these last five years. So why don't you tell me why Dad never came back. I may have been the first one to create the distance but you and Dad were the ones who kept it that way."

Sam opened his mouth to respond but refrained from saying anything when he heard the front door open upstairs.

"That's Robin." Dean said in a whisper closing the box.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Thank you so much for reading! Leave a review if you have a second :) Thanks!**


	12. Time

**Thank you a million times over to all who read and review and favorite and so forth!**

**Again I apologize for the long time gaps between posting chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. **

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Days passed like weeks as Sam waited on word from Bobby about his recent captor. Ever since his shirtless scene in science class, his peers had been even more distant than usual. Nina had even started giving him space. Things at home hadn't been much better. Sifting through his hunting equipment got him thinking. Thinking about hunting and about his dad. John would never have allowed this much time to pass without picking up a case, any case, even if it had nothing to do with the thing that killed Mary. The more time Sam spent trying to play the role of "good little normal suburban Sammy" the more time evil had to creep around and take care of business.

Sam sat quietly at his desk. He kept on trying to focus on his teachers voice but he was tired after another long sleepless night. Finally he could fight it no longer, his eyelids surrendered and he fell into a peaceful slumber. For about two minutes.

"Please. You have to stop. Please." Sam started; his voice was low, but loud enough to elicit a response from the teacher.

"I'm sorry, what was that Sam?"

"I don't want to die. Please!" Sam's voice was louder now and full of desperation. His classmates gazed on, both surprised and frightened by the little outburst.

"Is he asleep?" the teacher asked aloud to no one in particular. A few nods in the affirmative confirmed his suspicion. The teacher made it all the way to Sam's side, prepared to give him a little shake back into reality, when Sam let loose a bloodcurdling scream. The sound was loud enough that even Sam jumped and awoke with a start. In a moment of confusion he grabbed for his pencil and stabbed the person nearest: his teacher.

**SPN**

"And so you see Mr. Winchester, I'm not exactly sure what to do in this situation." Principal Roberts said with a sigh.

"The teacher wasn't hurt right?" Dean asked.

"Well, no, not badly. Luckily, Sam's pencil was dull and Mr. Clarke was wearing a thick sweater. But I'm not so sure that is the point. Your brother's erratic behavior has only been increasing. We can't continue to allow these little episodes to go unnoticed. We cannot idly sit by and simply watch Sam waiting for his next outburst. With all due respect, this is a high school, not a day care."

That last little comment didn't sit well with Dean.

"Well with all due respect, my brother has been through hell recently, so I'm sorry if he isn't the picture of a well adjusted teenager at the moment."

"I'm sorry Dean, I truly am." Principal Roberts shuffled some papers around. "Look, Mr. Clarke isn't going to press any charges or make any complaints, he knows it was a total accident. But I am going to have to give Sam a two week suspension, I just don't know what else to do. This is a small school, in a small town. People talk and if I don't do anything about this well, who knows, more kids might start showing aggression towards their teachers. If nothing else, the time away from school will give your brother some time to rest up. Seems like he's always walking the halls like a zombie."

Dean thought about Principal Robert's words. It was a pretty light sentence in his eyes. Two week break from school; Sam had gotten off light.

**SPN **

"I don't get why you're upset." Robin could hear Dean say upon his entering the house with Sam.

"No, you wouldn't." Sam responded, but there wasn't anger in his voice. He sounded detached, tired. He actually wasn't too torn up over having to miss school. It had been a tough adjustment. He was upset about the fact that this would mean more time sitting around at Dean's house. Alone. With nothing to hunt. Nothing to do; except try to avoid Dean.

"Think of it as a vacation." Dean suggested.

"Hey," Robin called out as she met the two boys in the living room, "I picked up some leftover waffles from the diner. I was thinking you could have those later tonight, breakfast for dinner ok?"

"Sounds great." Dean said with a smile.

Sam shrugged.

"Rough day?" Robin asked.

Sam shrugged again before walking off to his room.

Dean could feel Robin's questioning eyes on him.

"Sam fell asleep in class, had a nightmare, and stabbed his teacher with a pencil. Teacher's fine. Sam is suspended for two weeks."

"Hmm, so just another day?" Robin said with a touch of sarcasm and a slight upward curve at the ends of her mouth.

Dean smiled a sad little smile, "Yeah, guess so."

"I think he just needs more time." Robin said thinking out loud. "And more therapy."

"He already hates the therapy he's in." Dean walked to the kitchen and popped open a beer. "Can't say that I blame him for that."

"We can talk more about this when I get home if you want." Robin offered as she grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter.

"Hmm, not much to talk about."

"Well, offer still stands." Robin gave Dean a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to the diner.

Dean downed his beer and was about to crack open a second when there was a knock at the door.

When he swung open the thick wood door he nearly fell back in shock.

"Uncle Bobby?"

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Sorry it's a short one.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review if you have a second :)**


	13. Bad News

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. **

**Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and reviewing! It means a lot to know you like the story. I know I've been bad about posting regularly but I'm committed to this story and will continue to post new chapters. Hope you enjoy this one and thanks again to all who review it really helps encourage me to write more!**

**SPN**

"Dean." Bobby Singer said with a little smile. It had been ages since he'd last seen Dean. Bobby almost didn't recognize him, he was more at eye level now, but those eyes were the same Winchester green.

"I don't believe it! Uncle Bobby." Dean was still in awe.

"In the flesh." Bobby managed to say before he was surprised with a tight embrace.

"I don't believe it." Dean said again as he released the older hunter.

"Well you better. Now are we gonna stand here all night or are you going to invite me in?"

"Come in! Come in." Dean ushered Bobby into his small home like he was welcoming the President of the United States. He led Bobby into the living room and they each took a seat.

"It's been too long boy," Bobby started with a sad smile.

"You can say that again." Dean was grinning from ear to ear. "It's good to see you."

"You too. You look happy." Bobby said, and he meant it. He had never seen Dean looking as calm and worry free as he looked in this moment, which made it all the more difficult for Bobby to say what he had come to say.

"I am. I really am happy." Dean confirmed with a smile. His smile weakened as he began to study the face of the seasoned hunter before him. Bobby Singer looked much the same, grungy baseball cap, flannel, short beard, but there were subtle changes in his appearance. Wrinkles had started staking their claim, and Bobby's eyes looked more tired, tired of watching suffering and bloodshed.

"Dean…" Bobby said, "I have some bad news."

"Ok." Dean said, unsure of what news could be so bad that Bobby had to make a house call, after five years of radio silence, to deliver the message.

"Is Sam around?"

"Yeah, you want me to get him?"

"I think that would be best."

Dean rose to fetch his brother, but Sam was already entering the living room. He had heard Bobby's voice.

"Uncle Bobby, it's good to see you." Sam said as he approached the hunter. He hadn't seen Bobby in quite some time. After Dean's exit from family life, John hadn't been too keen on making social visits to other hunters. John and Sam kept to themselves and only reached out to their acquaintances in dire circumstances.

Bobby was surprised to see Sam in such poor health. Sam had outlined his experience in the warehouse with Castiel and John but he hadn't mentioned just how much damage had been done. Sam looked weak, tired, and a little too thin for Bobby's liking.

"Sam." The name was spoken with a father's affection. "It's good to see you too."

"So," Dean was curious about the nature of Bobby's visit, "you said you have bad news?"

"Unfortunately." Bobby let out a long slow breath. "I got those photos you had sent."

"Photos?" Dean asked.

"I had the crime scene photos sent to Bobby." Sam explained in a calm voice. "Asked him to dig a bit."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Dean was clearly upset.

"You don't need to know every detail of my life." Sam said.

"Yeah well this isn't a tiny detail. It's a pretty big deal. I don't know if it's the best idea for you to go digging into this whole thing." Dean's annoyance was visible.

"It's my life. I can dig into my own life." Sam spat back.

Bobby watched the domestic dispute, unsure if he should jump in or stay out of it.

"I'm you're brother –"

"Could've fooled me." Sam muttered.

"I took you in Sam, I – "

"I never asked you to! I didn't want to come here in the first place." Sam was losing his cool. "I would have rather gone to Uncle Bobby's, or Pastor Jim's, or a vampire's nest. I'd rather go anywhere but here with you!"

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to read and review this story! I know I haven't been the best about posting regularly but I'm still committed to finishing this one! Your reviews continue to encourage me. Anyways, hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think :)**

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean didn't know how to respond to that. A part of him wanted to shout at his brother and tell him to leave if he hated it there so much. Walk out the door and never come back. A bigger part of him wanted to go back to that night at Sonny's and make the choice all over again. He wanted to choose Sam. He wanted to go back and make the decision to sacrifice his own happiness in order to fulfill his role in life: taking care of his pain in the ass little brother. He wanted to have the chance to salvage his relationship, go back to the way things were before.

The silence in the room was overwhelming.

"Maybe this isn't a good time." Bobby said, in a voice just above a whisper. "I can come back in the morning."

"No. Please, I need to know." Sam begged. "What did you find?"

Bobby looked back and forth between the two boys. It was clear that even though the emotions were high and varied, they both wanted to hear what Bobby had to say.

"You're not gonna like it. Probably won't even believe it." Bobby said, opening the folder he had carried in with him. He pulled out a few crime scene photos and a few pieces of paper with some writing on them. "See these markings painted on the walls?"

Sam and Dean nodded.

"For starters, they're mostly painted in blood. They're sigils, older than dust, and almost impossible to translate, but best I can understand is that they're used to ward off angels and demons." Bobby looked at the Winchesters, noted the confused faces, and continued. "Now, whoever Picasso'd these puppies couldn't have been a demon. Demon wouldn't be able to draw the demon warding in blood without zapping himself right back downstairs. The angel warding; however, is another story."

Bobby picked up a photo and pointed to a few of the red markings. "These sigils seem to simply be keeping 'other' angels away and not all, as in not the one that was already hanging around. These ones are done in spray paint, not as powerful. The thing that tortured you, the thing that was trying to bleed you dry…it was an angel."

Sam stared at Bobby. Unable to comprehend what had just been explained. He got the whole bloody protection mess, and the part about demons made sense, but what he couldn't understand was why, if angels really existed, an angel would want him dead.

He remembered his father speaking of angels right before the torture began, but John had never spoken of them before that night. Sam always assumed his father had lost hope in a God or a heaven. He had been sure that the thing his father was working with was some kind of mind control creature, something similar to a djinn or crazed psychic.

"Angels?" Dean questioned. He sounded skeptical. "Aren't angels supposed to be the good guys?"

"Didn't make a lick of sense to me." Bobby said. "That's part of the reason why I had to come here to tell you in person, see if you might have any other information. Course, the other part was I wanted to see you boys."

Dean and Sam both smiled a bit at the warmth and love they felt coming from their Uncle Bobby.

"Ok," Sam cleared his throat, "so let's say angels want me dead or tortured or whatever. Fine. But did you find anything on the one I told you about? Castiel."

"There isn't much on him. Seems like he's an angel, but run of the mill. He ain't an archangel or anything too fancy. More of a grunt. Course this intel is a bit unreliable. Not too many accounts of angel visitations…that are trustworthy."

"So how do we kill it?" Sam asked. It seemed a logical question to him. Dean didn't seem to share that feeling.

"Kill it?!" Dean practically shouted. "Sam even if you were fit to hunt, which you're not, there is no way you could go up against an angel. Plus, why would you even want to? It's an angel. I mean he's probably protected by God. You wanna fight against God?"

"When did you become such a high and mighty Bible thumper?" Sam asked.

"Sam, are you listening to yourself?" Dean was surprised by his brother's change of heart. Of course, the years had no doubt hardened his brother, and weakened his hope; but, Dean remembered a Sam with a belief in a loving God and beautiful paradise where their mother lived.

"Hate to admit it Sam, but Dean's got a point." Bobby sighed. "This Castiel character isn't your average spook. I didn't find a single account of a human taking the life of an angel. Seemed like only demons and other angels had the right killin' juice or blade."

"Blade! Yeah," Sam perked up. "I saw it. Felt it. He had a blade, long like a sword. Sharper than anything I've ever felt. Sliced through me like I was melted butter."

Sam's mind was racing. If he could somehow lure the angel back, as frightening as that sounded, he might be able to get him to draw his blade. Then he could turn it against him. Theoretically.

Thinking about Castiel and the blade made a cold chill run down his spine. That had been the worst night of his life.

**SPNSPNSPN**

"You're sure he's not in pain now?" John asked. "It looks like he's still in pain."

John hadn't wanted to watch the process, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of his son. Sam was no longer screaming, but his face was twisted and tight.

"John, I told you this would not be simple." Castiel explained. His voice was calm, but inside he was filled with turmoil. He had already cycled through all of Sam's blood. The boy had died twice, briefly, but nothing had come of it. Demonic traces remained. Castiel considered infusing his blood with a drop of his grace, in hope of cancelling out the demonic agents with something angelic, but the thought of his grace coursing through the veins of Lucifer's vessel did not sit well with him.

"How much longer?" John was growing impatient.

"You will know when we are finished."

Perhaps if he drained the body quicker, the blood wouldn't have a chance to leave behind demonic imprints. Castiel made longer, wider, deeper incisions in the boy's flesh.

"Why isn't he screaming?" John asked, panicked. It was now clear that something was wrong with Sam's condition. "He's screaming but there's no sound."

Castiel felt like rolling his eyes. John was such a human.

"I thought you wanted him silenced. His cries seemed to disturb you."

"No, well yes, but it's not just the noise, it's the pain that's causing it."

"Pain is required. It's part of the process." This was a lie, it felt strange leaving Castiel's mouth. He could have numbed Sam's body, but he didn't want to. This was the body that had been chosen to inhabit Satan himself. This body deserved to suffer. It was only right.

Castiel waved his hand over Sam's neck and instantly cries of pain echoed from every corner of the warehouse. John wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset by the sound. It reminded him of the day Sam was born. Hearing his first cries signified life, but also the need for comfort and aid. Unfortunately, there was nothing John could do now to comfort his blood-covered son.

John took solace in the knowledge that an angel of God was in control of the situation, but he was still scared. Sam's screams died down and soon he was only whimpering with intermittent cries of distress. John placed a gentle hand on his boy's shoulder only to draw it back, surprised at the coldness of the flesh.

"I know what you are thinking." Castiel said watching John's interaction with his son

John hadn't done much research on angels. Never really believed in them, so he wasn't sure if Castiel was speaking literally, announcing his ability to read thoughts, or if he was just about to make an assumption.

"I know you must be repulsed by the thought of Lucifer inhabiting this body."

John nodded. He felt the tightness in his chest ease. So the angel hadn't read his thoughts. Yes, he was horrified at the idea of the devil himself wearing Sam's skin. But he was almost more horrified at the thought that had been on repeat in his mind for the last few hours: He should have kept Dean instead of Sam.

**SPN**

Sam's mind was floating in and out between the conversation with his Uncle Bobby and his brother, and the night his father died. He tried to focus back in on the present and pick up what Dean was saying.

"…which is exactly why I don't think you should have anything to do with this whole angel business. Much as you may hate to admit it, as long as you're living here, your hunting days are over. And I know you don't want to live here but that's just how it is. Your school is here, your shrink, your family, and – hopefully - your new life."

Sam was silent.

"He's got a point, Sam." Bobby said. "Couple of 'um actually."

Sam shrugged. He could see he wasn't going to win any debates tonight.

"Gettin' late." Bobby said standing up.

"You're staying here." Dean said. It was more of an announcement than a question.

"Nah it's fine. There's a motel in town." Bobby didn't want to be an inconvenience.

"I insist." Dean said.

"Take my room." Sam offered.

"I'd just get in the way." Bobby said backing out of the living room toward the front door.

"Bobby, you are staying here tonight. Face the facts." Dean smiled. "I can't count how many times I've been a guest in your house, please let me finally be on the opposite end of this deal."

"It is a nice home you got yourself here Dean." Bobby said with a hint of pride. He always knew the Winchester boys were something special.

"Well, I'm not sure it would look like much without all the work Robin put into it."

"Robin?" Bobby asked.

"His wife." Sam supplied. "She's not here now, but I'm sure you'll meet her in the morning."

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "Boy, we got a lot of catching up to do."

"You mean you never got the invitation I sent?" Dean asked, genuinely concerned.

"I wouldda come to something that big Dean. You should know that." Bobby gave a little smile. It made him feel good to know that he had been invited.

"I sent and invitation, weeks in advance." Dean let out a sign. "Should have paid extra for that confirmation of delivery."

"Well, you can do that on the next announcement you send out." Bobby said with a smile.

"Next announcement?"

"Dean Jr." Bobby said. "Course Robert's a good strong name too."

"I'll be sure to remember that." Dean said smiling. "Oh, and Bobby, when you meet her, just so you know, she doesn't know." Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously, "She doesn't know about any of this. I never told her about what I used to do. She doesn't know what's out there."

"I'm just an old huntin' buddy of your daddy's who gave you a place to bunk when John would hit the town."

"That," Dean agreed, "and a lot more."

**SPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Thanks again! Let me know what you think!**


	14. Good Morning

**Thank you for reading!**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Sam set to work getting Bobby set up in his room, and converting the couch into a bed for himself.

Dean almost offered to let Sam sleep in Robin's spot, she wouldn't be back until the early hours of the morning anyway, but he decided against it. The rift between them hadn't healed much and it would be awkward sleeping in the same bed now that they were two mostly grown men. He remembered sharing a bed with his brother as a child. Sam had always been so cuddly. He would start off on his side of the bed, not afraid of the dark or nightmares or anything, and by morning he was attached to his big brother's side.

The excitement of Bobby's arrival died down and soon the house was dark and quiet. Sam hadn't thought to grab pajamas from his room, and he didn't want to bother Bobby, so before tugging the covers up over himself, Sam pulled off his shirt and pants so that he was left with only his boxers, Next, he threw back a couple of pain pills. His pain had died down substantially, but he found that taking a few before bed helped keep mind numb and free of night terrors. It wasn't a perfect system, but it seemed to work most of the time.

Hours passed, and Sam slept soundly. A bit before dawn, Robin quietly entered the house. Dean had called earlier to inform her of their surprise visitor and he had assured her that they were making him as comfortable as possible.

Robin set down her bag and felt her way through the living room. She saw the outline of a sleeping figure on the couch/bed.

"Dean?" she whispered.

"Mmm," was the sleepy reply. Robin smiled. How sweet of her husband to take the roughest accommodation.

The next morning Sam woke with a feeling of peace he hadn't felt in a good few months. He felt warm and safe. He felt…human contact. Then he felt a kiss. He kissed back. What a nice dream. Wait…that was an actual kiss.

"Morning, babe." Robin's sleepy voice hummed.

Sam's eyes flew open. He was startled to find Robin lying next to him on the pullout couch bed. Sam propped himself up and scuttled away from her. Robin suddenly became aware of her surroundings as well. Her eyes grew large and she flung a hand over her mouth.

The two of them sat on the bed in silence. Then Robin began to laugh. It started as a small chuckle but grew into a loud roaring, snorting, rocking back and forth, laugh. She tried to stop laughing long enough to spit out a few words, but she couldn't get herself under control.

Dean popped a messy head around the corner. "Robin, you're back late. I didn't hear you come in."

Dean entered the living room and took a seat. He was still in his plaid pajama pants and white t-shirt.

Sam was turning bright red, and the sight of him and his embarrassment only made Robin laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked, looking back and forth between his wife and his brother. He noticed Sam's look of horror. "Robin?"

Robin had controlled her hysterics a bit and was trying to take deep breaths. It was funny, plus she was exhausted, and things are always funnier when you're tired. She held up a finger, telling Dean to hold his horses. A few more deep breaths and then she cleared her throat.

"Dean." She would have to say it fast because she could feel her smile spreading, "I came home a little early. I was tired and I thought you were sleeping on the pullout."

"Ok?" Dean was failing to see the humor, but his mind was still waking up.

"Honey… I slept with your brother last night." She tried to say it with a straight face but she couldn't manage it. She started laughing again.

Dean's forehead furrowed in confusion. He took a second to process. He looked at his wife and his brother. They were both in bed. Both under the covers. Sam was missing a shirt.

Dean opened his mouth to say something but words would form. Robin continued laughing.

"Nothing happened!" Sam blurted out. He was nervous, embarrassed, horrified, aroused, ashamed, and confused all at once. "I swear!"

This little outburst only made Robin laugh harder. Obviously nothing would have happened, she had been exhausted, he was dead asleep, they were on a squeaky uncomfortable bed, and there was a guest in the house. Plus, she would have noticed that she wasn't with her husband.

"I wouldn't call what we shared nothing Sam." Robin said with a goofy smile. It was fun teasing the poor kid a little.

"It was just a kiss!" Sam wasn't sure if he should look at Dean or keep his eyes on the ground. "That was it. Nothing more!"

"You kissed my wife?" Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt a sudden urge to punch his brother, but at the same time the whole scenario was comical. Sam's face alone was enough to put a smile on Dean's face.

"You brother is a pretty good kisser." Robin said smiling. She rose from the bed and made her way over onto Dean's lap. "Let's see how you compare."

Sam put his face in his hands to mask his embarrassment.

"How'd I rate?" Dean asked as he slowly pulled away from the sign of affection.

"Hmm…not bad." Robin said. She rubbed her chin in mock deliberation. "It's a close call. I will say that while your kiss had stronger emotion behind it… Sam has softer lips."

Dean huffed, "Yeah, cuz he's a girl."

Sam smiled and shook his head. It was shaping up to be an interesting day, and it was only eight o'clock.

"I still need a few more hours of shut eye but, if it's alright with you two, I'll join you for breakfast so I can meet this family friend of yours." Robin said, changing the subject. She could see the relief on Sam's face.

"Great idea." Dean smiled. "I'll cook breakfast, you just relax."

"I knew I picked a winner." Robin said. She gave Dean another kiss before standing. "I'm gonna get a shower and lie down for a bit, but come get me for breakfast."

"You got it." Dean watched her walk out of the room. He was a lucky man.

"I thought you only knew how to make Lucky Charms." Sam said.

"That was then." Dean had been swept up in the laughter and comedic situation, but now his attention focused on Sam's exposed upper body. "People change."

Sam could feel his brother's eyes moving from scar to scar. It made him want to shimmy under the protection of the covers. He didn't want to be ashamed of his battle wounds but somehow they seemed more like signs of weakness than strength.

Every time Sam sustained an injury that left it's mark his dad would simply wag his head and offer some classic John Winchester gem like: "that's why you shoot first and ask questions later" or "you could've broke free if you were up to your required minimum on push-ups." There were a few scars that John didn't attribute to Sam's inadequacy but instead held himself responsible for, a rare few.

Sam considered waiting for Dean to leave before he stood to slip on his shirt and pants. But watching Dean watch him created a small sense of satisfaction. Dean looked pained and Sam liked that. Maybe it was time for Dean to face the ugly reality of the toll his leaving took. Before Dean left he had always been there to look out for Sam. Keep him safe. A little piece of Sam had always yearned for his big brother whenever he was sick or afraid or hurting.

Now, Sam's scars were a testament of the pain he had endured, the rough life he had lived without the shelter of his big brother. Dean couldn't help but think that if he had gone back to his family, Sammy would be whole.

Sam flipped off the covers and stood next to the couch, revealing more cuts, scrapes and scars along his legs. Out of the corner of his eye he watched for Dean's continued attention.

"Is that – " Dean didn't mean to point but all of a sudden his finger was extended and pointing right at Sam's upper thigh.

"Tattoo." Sam said matter-of-factly. He slipped his shirt over his head and reached for his pants.

"Dad let you get a tattoo?"

"Dad _made_ me get a tattoo." There was a hint of disgust in Sam's voice.

"Why?"

"You don't want to know." Sam said, and he meant it, but he could see that Dean was only more intrigued. "Anti-possession."

"So…?"

"So," Sam sighed, "if a demon wanted to take control of my body, he's out of luck."

"Keeps demons out. Like a… demonic chastity belt?"

Sam rolled his eyes. Leave it to Dean.

"When did you get it?"

"Couple weeks after I got possessed." Sam said. "Dad got one too. Last year."

"Demons. Up close and personal." Dean muttered. "You two sure worked your way up the food chain fast. What happened to simple salt and burns? Werewolves?"

Sam just shrugged. It was the life.

"How'd you get inked at 16?" Dean asked.

"Dad knew a guy." Sam was now fully dressed and transforming the bed back into a couch. "I didn't want to get one yet. Told him I'd just wear an anti-possession charm or something, but he wouldn't budge."

"Sounds like him." Dean said. He could imagine John Winchesters unwavering order. "Did it hurt?"

"Not really," Sam finished replacing the cushions, "I was drunk. Kind of hurt later though."

"Drunk?"

Sam just shrugged.

Dean stood.

"Guess I'll get going on breakfast." Dean said.

It was nice to get bits and pieces of what he had missed over the years. Well, maybe not nice, but at least he felt like his understanding was deepening.

"I'm gonna take a walk." Sam said.

Dean's eyes flashed a little look of panic. Sam, outside, alone.

"I'll be fine." Sam said. "I'll be back in time for breakfast."

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNS**

**Thank you for reading! Hope you liked this chapter. If you have a minute I'd love to hear what you think.**

**Thanks to all of you who are reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. It really helps motivate me to write more. You guys are awesome!**


	15. Breakfast

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Supernatural.**

**Sorry this is taking me five million year! I'm the worst. Anyways I hope if there is anyone still reading this that you enjoy the chapter. I already have half of the next one done as well and should post by the end of the week. Thanks for reading!**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"Smells like you picked up a few new skills, boy," Bobby said entering the kitchen.

"Well don't get your hopes up," Dean said with a smile, "it's probably nothing compared to the Bobby Singer specials you cooked for us."

"I sure did miss you boys coming around."

"Yeah…" Dean poked at the sizzling bacon. "Sam mentioned something about dad distancing himself from other hunters."

"Distancing?" Bobby grunted. "I guess you could call it that. He practically fell off the grid. Dean…I want you to know. I tried to get Sammy from him. I tried to keep an eye on him. I reached out when I could."

Dean nodded.

"And…there's something else. Something I need you to know." Bobby said. "I'm still not sure if I'm proud or ashamed of this."

"Ok?"

"I knew you were here." Bobby spat out the words, "I knew it the whole time and I left you here. I didn't come for you. But I had my reasons. I came here. I came ready to pick you up and take you home. But…but by the time I got to you, you had a home here. It was easy to see that. You were happy. I couldn't. Dean. I couldn't bring myself to take you out of this, this normal life. I made sure it was safe here, did some research on that Sonny character who ran the home you lived in. First, I was skeptical. Ex-cons don't always make the best daddy's, but he was respectable and I couldn't find any recent issues in his life. What cinched the deal was watchin' him with you. The way you looked up to him, the way he showed genuine care for you. Looked to me like a better father to you than I could be."

Dean was quiet.

"I wouldn't have been able to return you to your daddy or brother. When John didn't want to be found, it was near impossible to find him. It woulda just been you and me and you'd be back in the life. Even if I tried to stay out of it, I know it'd find us. I didn't –"

"Bobby," Dean said, cutting off the older hunter. "You did the right thing. I mean, you would make an excellent father to any lucky kid. But you're right, I was settled here."

"I considered maybe just workin' the phones full time, but – "

"Bobby," Dean held a up a hand, "you don't have to explain yourself to me. You did the right thing."

Bobby shut his mouth, he didn't look fully convinced though.

"I mean it." Dean smiled. Of course, a life with Bobby would have been perfectly fine with him. Dean had always been an excellent hunter, and before his experience with "normal" he would have sworn up and down that the hunting lifestyle was the only lifestyle worth adopting. But he was honestly glad to hear that Bobby had opted to leave him in Sonny's care.

"You wanna grab the OJ?" Dean asked as he slid the bacon out of the frying pan and onto a platter.

Breakfast was cooked and placed on the small dining table.

Robin entered the room and gave Dean a small peck on the cheek before seating herself next to Bobby.

"You get enough sleep?" Dean asked, "I can throw some of this in the fridge for you to heat up later if you want."

"I'm good. I don't want to miss the breakfast table conversation." Robin turned her attention to Bobby. "I'm Robin."

"Bobby. It's a pleasure to meet you. It's nice to see that Dean married up."

Robin laughed, "I like you already. So, Dean tells me you're an old hunting friend of his fathers?"

"Sounds about right." Bobby smiled, " I've know these Winchester boys since the first day Dean was able to wield a…spoon. It's a shame we lost touch the way we did."

"Agreed." Dean chimed in.

"We'll I hope we'll be seeing a lot more of you then." Robin said eyeing the eggs. "So, uh, who else is ready to eat? Are we just waiting on Sam?"

"Yeah," Dean's eyes darted to the door, "he should have been back by now."

"Did you send him on an errand?" Robin asked.

"No, he just went for a walk." Dean looked down at his watch.

"It's easy to lose track of time when you're out walking. I'm sure he's fine." Robin tried to sound confident as she attempted to calm her husband.

"Robin's right. He'll be here soon. I say we dig in." Bobby scooped up a few slices of bacon, "See if Dean's a regular Martha Stewart or not."

Dean smiled and slid the plate of eggs over to Robin, "Prepare to be amazed."

Halfway into seconds Dean broke.

"Ok, I can't sit here any longer. I gotta go find him." Images of his little brother bloody on the side of a road had been plaguing his mind since the start of breakfast. Dean stood and grabbed his keys and jacket.

"You want me to come along?" Bobby asked.

"No, I'll find him." Dean said trying to smile, "I'll find him. I'm sure he's fine. I just-"

"Go," Robin said, "call if you need any help."

With Dean gone, Robin and Bobby started clearing the table and cleaning up the breakfast mess.

"You don't have to do anything," Robin said. She watched Bobby fill the sink with water to wash the dishes. "You're our guest."

"Oh, it's my pleasure." Bobby poured some soap into the water. "I wanted to thank you for putting me up. I'll get out of your hair soon, I promise."

"I hope not! It's so nice to meet people who are important to Dean." Robin grabbed a towel and started drying the dishes as Bobby washed. "Even though I've known him for years he's still such a mystery. One I don't think I'll ever completely solve."

"He's a good kid. Lucky to have you." Bobby smiled, "I never thought I'd see Dean as happy as you make him. I always hoped he'd break free of the life. Find a nice girl. Make a home for himself."

"The life?" Robin asked.

Bobby flushed, "I just mean the life he had before comin' up here."

"His life with John and Sam?" Robin asked almost in a whisper. It almost felt wrong talking about Dean's past without him present.

Bobby nodded. He had no idea how much Dean had talked about his family with Robin, and he didn't want to anger a Winchester by supplying too much free information.

"Bobby?" Robin set down the dish she was drying and turned her attention to the older hunter, "When Dean first came up to Sonny's place, he was rough around the edges. I knew he had some kind of past. But we were sixteen and I didn't think there was much evil out in the world. I could see the hurt and the sadness in his eyes when he would let something from his former life slip, and I never pressed him for information. I figured he would tell me whatever he needed to tell me when he was ready. He could go weeks and even months without letting that hurt show. He was, I don't know, moving on? Now…with Sam here…that hurt that pain never leaves his eyes. I don't know what to do. I don't blame Sam, I want to make that clear, I don't blame him at all. He deserves his family. I just…It hurts me to see Dean this way."

"Hey," Bobby said in a soft voice. Robin raised her eyes to meet those of her new friend. "You are doing everything just perfect. What you said couldn't be more true. Dean, well you probably know better than me, but he's a stubborn one."

Robin let out a little laugh.

"When he gets an idea in that fool head of his he tends to hold on damn tight." Bobby took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair before replacing the worn-out old thing to its rightful place. "The way I see it, he's gone and put the blame of all Sam's pain and struggles on himself. He's convinced himself that every scar and every nightmare is because of him. Course it ain't, but that doesn't mean he'll stop blaming himself."

Robin sighed, "I have this feeling, inside, like everything will work out. They will be brothers again. I just wish it would happen sooner rather than later. But I know these things take time. I've just never been big on the whole patience thing."

"Right there with ya." Bobby said with a smile. Bobby cleared his throat, "Now, I got a question for you. Might sound a bit silly coming from an old man like me."

"Shoot."

"You got any wedding photo's I can see?"

**Thanks for reading! I know this chapter wasn't too action packed...felt like some good talks were needed. Hope you liked it! Leave a review if you can. I love them :) **


	16. One Month

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. Any part of it.**

**Thanks for reading! And a special thanks to those who review! It really means a lot :)**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

After leaving the house Dean drove down a few quiet streets, his eyes searching left and right for his brother. Nothing. He had driven about three miles out when he finally saw Sam under the shade of a tree. Dean let out a deep breath and parked the truck on the side of the road.

"Sam!" Dean called out, trying not to let his worry too obvious.

Sam made no effort to respond and continued to lay under the tree. Dean walked toward his brother in a brisk fashion. The roadside was quiet except for the dull sound of the wind. Dean approached his brother, crouched down, and shook Sam's bony shoulder.

"Sam. Come on man." It was strange, Dean thought, for Sam to go out for a walk just to take a nap. "Sam, time to go."

Dean scanned his brother for any visible injuries. Nothing. Then he saw it. An empty pill bottle. He shook Sam with more energy.

"Sam! Sammy! Wake up. Sam!" Dean shouted.

Inside his head Sam had been at peace. There was total silence, calm, and warmth. He felt safe. Then like a bullhorn he heard his name. Over and over again. His muddled brain tried to place the voice. It was so familiar.

"Dad?" Sam mumbled.

"Sam!" Dean said, relieved to see that Sam was still somewhat with him. He had checked for a pulse and was overjoyed to feel a very slow steady beat. Now, Sam was talking, confused, but talking.

Sam opened his eyes just enough to see a figure next to him. Dean pulled out his phone and started dialing for help.

"No!" Sam swatted at the phone, he was weak but the movement was unexpected and sent the phone flying to the ground. " 'm fine."

Dean reached for his phone, but Sam was already starting to wake more fully from his slumber.

"No hospitals." Sam said with more strength in his voice than before.

"Sam, you need-"

"No! They'll put me in there and they won't let me out of there and I can't. Dean I can't. I'm fine."

"Sam, you need help I'm not going to let you die from some stupid overdose." Dean picked up the phone.

"I won't!" Sam spat out.

Sam grabbed his brother's phone and threw it with the strength that he had. Then he did something Dean wasn't expecting. He turned away from Dean, paused for a moment, and then was suddenly emptying the contents of his stomach onto the ground next to him.

Sam spat and wiped his mouth with his sleeve before turning back to face Dean.

"Sam. What the hell?!" Dean's eyes kept bouncing between the empty bottle and the empty emotionless face of his little brother.

"Didn't have to do that." Sam said before spitting out the vile taste in his mouth again. He scrunched up his nose, looked down, and realized that not all of the vomit had made it to the ground.

"What I was supposed to let you die?"

"No, I mean I didn't have to…to get rid of all that." Sam repositioned himself so he wasn't leaning on his brother but sitting on his own. He swayed a bit before finding his balance. "There were only a few pills left. Wouldn't have done any harm."

"Sam." Dean paused. Trying to push down the anger and frustration that was building inside of him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Lying to me, for starters." Dean shook his head in frustration, "You think I don't know how many pills you've been taking? You think I don't care about you enough to check? Sam, I know we aren't what we used to be, but don't forget that there was a time when you and I were close. We were a family. You and me. I knew you better than anyone else and guess what, you haven't changed as much as you think you have. You're still my pain in the ass little brother. I know we can't have exactly what we had when we were kids, but I want you to know that I still love you. I still worry about you and want to protect you. I want you to be happy."

Dean did his best to stay composed. He allowed only a single tear to slide down his face. Sam looked away, out on the horizon. For what seemed like hours the two sat in silence. Then Sam spoke, in a voice so quiet Dean almost didn't hear him.

"I can never be happy."

"Sam –"

"No." Sam spoke louder now. "It's true. I've known that for a long time now. I used to think…maybe someday. But…no."

Dean tried to collect his thoughts, to find the right words to say. There weren't any.

"I know you think that you can shove me in a school, a family, a life, and change everything." Sam looked down at his hands in his lap. "But you can't. I uh, I think it's time for me to leave. I'll go with Uncle Bobby."

Sam waited for Dean to acknowledge what he had just said. He waited for a nod or an argument or any agreement, anything. Finally, Sam stood and as he did Dean jumped up to steady him. Sam held up a hand. He didn't need help. He didn't want it. They walked back to the truck and got in. Dean reached out to turn the key but stopped himself.

"I know I have no right to ask, but would you do me one favor?" Dean asked. He saw the question in Sam's eyes and continued, "Would you give me one more chance?...Please?"

Sam sighed but before he could answer Dean started speaking again.

"Look, I can't begin to image how hard this has been. It's been down right insane the last little while. I know that and I'm not going to try to sugar coat it. But, I think we could make it work, you and me, this life, if you just give it a little more time. One month? One month, ok? After that, if you still want to leave…"

"One month?" Sam said, his mind spinning. His mind flashed back to a time when he would do anything for his big brother, anything to make him happy. Then his big brother had abandoned him. Left him alone with John Winchester and all the other monsters that go bump in the night.

"One month." Dean confirmed.

"Ok." Sam turned and looked his brother straight in the eyes, something he hadn't done often since their reunion. "One month."

Dean started up the truck and headed for home.

"Don't scare me like that again Sammy."

Sam parted his lips to remind him brother to call him by his preferred name, but resisted the urge. He'd put Dean through enough for one day.

"Sorry," Sam said. "I didn't think about you."

Sam meant what he said. He hadn't wanted to scare Dean or illicit any worry and concern. He had gone out with the intention of taking a walk and clearing his head. When the walk wasn't distracting enough he decided to pop back a few pills. No harm no foul. John wouldn't have taken much notice and he wouldn't have been able to say anything if he had. John wasn't the poster boy for healthy coping methods. Things were going to be different with Dean.

"Sam, I don't want to see you hurt…or worse. That's true. But you should care about yourself too. You have worth. You should know that."

Sam shifted, suddenly uncomfortable, "What's next? Do we share a pint of ice cream and rent Titanic?"

"Shut up," Dean said with mock annoyance.

The two brothers sat in silence for the rest of the ride.

"Oh," Dean said as they turned into the driveway, "and from now on I'll be your personal pharmacist."

Sam rolled his eyes.

Sam and Dean entered the Winchester home just in time to see Robin and Bobby snap shut the wedding photo album.

"We're back," Dean said as Robin stood and gave him a quick kiss, "alive and well."

"And smelly." Robin said, confused. "Did you fall in a sewer?"

"Just one." Dean said with a smile. "Sam, you can get cleaned up first."

"And then there are leftovers in the fridge," Robin said.

"Thanks," Sam offered a half smile and left the room. Dean watched him leave the room. He watched Sam with the careful eye of a parent watching a wobbly toddler.

"I think he'll always like you better," Dean said to Robin with a mix of humor and honesty.

"He'd be crazy not to," Bobby chimed in. He stood and smoothed down the wrinkles of his shirt. "You really hit the jackpot kid."

Robin turned a light pink.

"Don't I know it." Dean said.

"Now, I hate to eat and run," Bobby said, "but an old friend of mine a few hours from here called while you were out. He needs my help with a little pest control."

Dean nodded.

Bobby held out a card for Dean, "Here's my number. Call for anything. Anything."

"I will."

"Robin, it truly was a pleasure meeting you." Bobby grabbed his things and headed for the door.

"Likewise. I'm sorry you have to leave so soon. But I wish you the best of luck with that pest problem. Doesn't sound like fun. Next time you're in the area pop in on us." Robin gave Bobby a quick hug. She hadn't known the man for long but he had a loveable quality about him.

"Oh," Bobby turned to Dean as he opened the door, "and don't forget to send me that thing we talked about when I first got here."

Dean smiled as Bobby gave him a wink. Truth be told, Dean was hoping he could send out a baby announcement sooner rather than later.

After Bobby walked out the door Robin turned to her husband.

"What was that about?" Robin asked.

Dean shrugged and Robin smiled.

"Ok, have your little secrets." Robin picked up the wedding album and put it back on its shelf.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**What'd you think of the chapter? If you have a second, leave a review! Thanks for reading :)**


	17. Trying New Things

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Thanks for everyone who reads and reviews! It really means a lot! Hope you like this chapter!**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

That night Dean insisted on staying in Sam's room with him. Robin didn't object, figuring it must have had something to do with the events of that morning. At first Sam tossed and turned, complaining that he couldn't sleep while his brother watched over him like some creepy lurking shadow. When morning came Sam was well rested, which was more than could be said for Dean.

"I've got work all day." Dean said. He poured himself a bowl of cereal then passed the box over to his brother.

"Fine." Sam filled his bowl to the brim. Poured the milk and started chowing down.

"I'd like you to come with me."

Sam almost choked on his corn flakes.

"What?" Dean asked

"Dean?" Sam looked over at his brother. Sass in his eyes.

"What? Dean repeated.

"I'm not a baby. You don't have to babysit me."

"I'm not…baby sitting. I just thought you might like to see my workplace. It's not like there's much to do around the house here by yourself."

Sam knew there was another reason for the invitation.

"We leave in five." Dean said and put his empty bowl in the sink.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

"Eh Dean-o!" Ricky shouted from across the garage. Ricky was an older man with a full head of hair and a clean-shaven face. He had been informed about Dean's new family situation and had been very lenient with his work schedule. Dean had a strong work ethic and Ricky wasn't going to punish him for a family emergency.

"Ricky!" Dean approached the man with Sam tailing behind. "This is Sam. Sam, Ricky."

"Nice to meet you," Sam said. He kept his eyes low but offered up a half smile.

"Same." Ricky clapped a hand down on Sam's shoulder. "You know, you got'cher self one hell of a brother!"

"Yeah," Sam tried to stay calm. Play it cool. He still wasn't used to being touched by strangers.

"Best mechanic in the state." Ricky added.

"Second best," Dean said, "Ricky here taught me just about everything I know."

Sam kept a tight smile on his face and nodded a few times.

Ricky took a step back towards his project, "Look kid, make yourself at home here. There's frozen burritos and bee- I mean uh, soda, in the fridge. Eh who am I kiddin' there's beer in the fridge too but I better not catch you throwin a cold one back. Capish?"

Sam nodded.

Ricky smiled and then got back to business.

Sam followed Dean into the small break room. Dean placed the lunch Robin had lovingly made for him in the fridge.

"You can hang here or you can come sit with me while I work on a few projects." Dean suggested.

"Ok." Sam took a seat on the small couch in the corner of the room.

"Ok," Dean repeated slowly, "you'll let me know if you need anything."

"Yep." Sam slouched down on the old cushions.

It was hours before Sam emerged from the break room. He wasn't planning on leaving at all but the silence of the room was driving him half out of his mind. At least out in the garage there was noise.

Sam casually made his way across the garage and over to Dean's side. He sat down on a nearby swivel stool and gently twisted from side to side.

"I was wondering how long you'd stay in there." Dean said glancing over at Sam. "Glad you decided to join me."

Sam shrugged.

"You know it might be good for you to know a little car maintenance now that…well now that you have a car of your own. Did Dad ever…" As soon as he mentioned his father he regretted it. Dean cleared his throat. He hadn't realized it would be so difficult talking about his father. It was probably worse for Sam.

"No. No he never showed me anything. I mean besides the usual's… gas, oil, hotwiring."

"Right." Dean said, "Well maybe we can bring her in for a tune up soon and I can give you a few pointers."

"I guess so." Sam shrugged. Then a smile spread over his face, "But only since you're the best mechanic in the state."

"Shut up." Dean said tossing a greasy rag at his brother.

The rest of the day was quiet. Dean continued with some engine work with Sam handing him tools and sitting quietly in his swivel chair.

**SPNSPNSPN**

The next few days were calm. Sam and Dean would wake up, eat, and get to work. Even though he barely showed it, Sam was beginning to enjoy his time at the garage. He was learning a lot about cars.

"So, final question" Dean said pointing in the engine, "what's this?"

"The, uh, the carburetor."

"Very good Sammy," Dean said with a smile. Proud of his star pupil.

Sam smiled big enough for his dimples to make a rare guest appearance. He didn't even notice the nickname slip.

Dean closed the hood on the 1967 Chevy Impala.

"She sure is beautiful," Dean said admiring the old family car, "hasn't aged a day."

"You can still hear them," Sam said before he could stop himself.

"Hear who?"

"The Legos in the vents."

"Really? Dad let those things kick around in there all this time?"

"Well, no," Sam sat back down on his swivel chair, "he threw them out after you…Anyway, I found them in the motel trash one night. It had only been a few weeks without you. I still thought you might come back, so I took them out of the trash and I put them back where they belonged."

"Thanks Sam," Dean said. Because he didn't know what else to say.

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"So, you picking up some new skills down at the garage?" Robin asked as she strolled down the grocery store aisle with Sam by her side. She had asked Dean the night before if Sam could spend the day with her instead of down at the garage. She had been so busy with the diner lately, but had finally been able to take a day off again. She wanted to take some time with Sam.

"Few things." Sam was actually pretty pleased with his new knowledge. It was fun to learn new things outside of lore and weapon maintenance.

Robin added a few items to the cart.

"Remember, you have to put in what you want too." Robin smiled, "I'm still trying to figure you out."

"I'm fine with whatever."

"That's what you always say, but you've got to have some likes and dislikes." Robin stopped the cart in front of an array of ethnic foods. "What looks good?"

Sam shrugged.

"Couscous?" Robin offered.

"I've never had them."

Robin smiled and tossed a box of couscous in the cart.

"Pad Thai?"

Sam smiled, "Never tried that either."

Five minutes later the cart was full of diverse foods.

"This is going to be great!" Robin said. "I haven't tried a lot of these either."

Back at the house Sam and Robin got to work in the kitchen.

"You've got some mad chef skills Sam," Robin said watching Sam whip up a tempura batter. "If you ever want a job at the diner, it's yours. Did you ever work in the food industry? Like a part time job or something?"

"No," Sam smiled, "My only experience working with food is reheating pizza and brewing motel coffee."

"Do you miss it?" Robin asked. She pulled the pho noodles off the hot burner.

"Motel coffee?" Sam laughed, "No."

"No, just the whole moving around thing? Do you miss the constant change?" Robin asked. While Sam stood silent, thinking, Robin piped up again to explain her question. "I just know for me, I've been in one place my whole life. If I had to change all of a sudden and go from never moving to always moving…It would be hard."

"I don't know." Sam started dipping shrimp and placing them in the hot oil. "I always thought it was what I wanted. Being in one place. A home."

"And now?"

"I mean you and Dean are great. Way better to me that I deserve." Sam flipped the shrimp. "I just think maybe it's too late."

"What makes you say that?" Robin asked.

Sam didn't answer right away; instead, he looked down at his scarred forearms. Then in a voice just above a whisper he said, "I don't know. I mean, it's just...I'm already a monster. A freak."

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you have a minute :)**

**The next chapter will have finish up the Robin and Sam kitchen scene. I was going to wait until it was done but I didn't want to wait any longer to post an update. I already take way too long as it is. Thanks for sticking with me!**


	18. Secrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, favoriting, following, and all that jazz. It really means a lot! I'm glad you are liking the story :)**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

"Sam Winchester, I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like that ever again." Robin spoke with a strong confident voice. "You are not a monster. You are not a freak. You are a wonderful human being who has gone through hell and come out on top. I mean it."

Sam didn't respond except for a slight nod.

Robin turned off all the burners of the stove and signaled for Sam to join her at the table. Sam followed Robin's lead.

"Sam," Robin took a deep breath, "I know we don't know a whole lot about each other. But everything I know about you is good. And if you have demons in your past, well…they're in the past."

The corner of Sam's lip turned up in a slight smile. He had demons in his past all right.

"I want to tell you something. Something very personal from my past. This isn't something I just go around shouting, but…well here it is: When I was young, before I met Dean, I was the victim of a hideous crime."

Sam lowered his eyes to the floor. He didn't like where this was going.

"It was awful." Robin said in a voice that was low but matter of fact. "After that, I was a different person. I was shy, withdrawn, lonely, and constantly living in fear. Some of my fear came from the idea that it could happen again, but mostly, I was afraid that somebody would find out what had happened to me. I didn't want anyone to know. I was so ashamed. I felt worthless. I felt like no matter what I did, I would still never be worthy of anybody's love or respect. Sam, I couldn't have been more wrong. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't a bad person. I was a victim of a horrible crime. It took years for me to get help and move on. Years. I didn't see myself in the right light for a long time. Dean helped. He helped a lot, more than he knows. But I had to believe that I was worth something. I had to know it for myself."

Sam sat silent. Internalizing Robin's words.

"Now, I don't know everything you've been through," Robin said with a sigh, "I know about this most recent tragedy in your life, but I'm sure there were countless other wounds over years and years. Maybe some of those wounds are physical; maybe some are some emotional. But no matter what you've had to go through, I know you are a wonderful person with a kind heart. You are worth a lot Sam Winchester. I hope that someday you can know that for yourself. You are not a monster. You are a miracle."

Robin gently placed her hand on top of Sam's.

"Thank you." Sam said in a small voice.

Robin smiled then hopped up from her chair.

"Let's finish up this food and have a feast. What do you say?"

"Yeah," Sam cleared his throat and stood, "I'm starving."

SPSPNSPN

Two hours later Robin and Sam were sprawled on the couch surrounded by empty containers.

"Wow." Sam huffed out. As he spoke his lips tingled with heat left over from a spicy curry dish the two had made.

"Wow is right." Robin placed her arms across her stomach.

"I never knew there were so many flavors and spices." Sam licked his bottom lip still tingling with heat.

"Find any new favorites?" Robin asked.

"Tons." Sam smiled. "Thanks. For everything."

Robin nudged Sam's shoulder with her own. They sat in silence allowing their bodies to digest. After a minute or two Robin suddenly sat up, put a hand to her mouth, and then ran to the kitchen trashcan.

"Robin?" Sam chased after his sister-in-law. "You ok?"

Sam quickly filled a glass with water to hand to Robin as soon as she finished throwing up a large portion of what she had recently consumed. Robin wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and graciously accepted the glass.

"Thanks." She managed to say after taking a few small sips.

"Was it the food? Did we undercook something? Are you allergic to anything?" Sam pulled out a kitchen chair for Robin to sit on.

"I'm fine." Robin said taking a deep breath. She looked up and saw Sam's worried face. "Really. I'm fine."

"What do you think it was? Maybe the shrimp? Or did I undercook the chicken in the curry?"

"No, Sam, it's ok. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have eaten all that."

Robin would have consoled the troubled youth further but she needed to empty out a bit more of her meal.

"Well, it could be my fault." Sam ran a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry. Want me to go get you some medicine? I can get Dean. I'm so sorry."

"Sam, really, it's not your fault." Robin laughed. She took another sip of water. Then in an amused voice she added, "It's Dean's."

"Dean's?" Sam was confused. "He hasn't been home all day."

Sam looked down at Robin and saw her cradling her stomach. It took him a minute.

"Really?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Really." Robin smiled.

"Does Dean know?"

"No," Robin got serious, "don't tell him…not yet. I've known for a little while now, but I just want to be sure. Then I'll tell him."

"Wow." Sam smiled at the thought of Dean and Robin with a little baby. The perfect family.

"Wow is right. But listen, you have to promise not to speak a word of this to Dean. Top secret. I don't want to get his hopes up until I know for sure."

"Top secret." Sam said while making a cross over his heart. "He's gonna flip when you do tell him…He'll be a great dad."

"Yeah. I think so." Robin took another sip of water. "Well, I'm going to get this evidence out of here." She said motioning to the garbage can.

"No, let me." Sam grabbed the garbage bag and tied it up. He started for the back door. Then turned to add, "Robin, I don't really know what mom's are supposed to be like…but…well I think you'll be the best one."

"Thanks, Sam."

SPNSPNSPNSPN

That night when Dean returned Sam found every excuse to avoid talking with him. He was great a lying, it was a skill he had called upon daily when he was hunting full time. But now, he was starting to show his emotions on his sleeve a bit more. Every time he looked over at Dean he couldn't help a small smile from escaping out onto his lips.

"What?" Dean asked during dinner. Sam had been acting strange all day. More smiley than usual.

"Hmm?" Sam asked with a full mouth.

"What?" Dean repeated, "Do I have grease on my forehead or something?"

Sam shook his head no.

Robin gave Sam a mock angry look.

"I shouldn't have left the two of you alone. I feel like secrets have been revealed." Dean helped himself to another slice of meatloaf. "You two were probably braiding each other's hair and talking about your celebrity crushes all day."

"Yep." Robin raised her hands in a show of surrender, "You caught us."

"Actually," Sam said, remembering a discussion from earlier that day at the grocery store, "Robin did tell me about the time you tried to kiss her, but your eyes were closed and you kissed her ear."

"Ah!" Robin laughed, "That was told in the strictest of confidence!"

Dean's face started turning a little pink. He remembered that day. Talk about embarrassing.

"Well Sam told me," Robin said, with a mischievous glint in her eye, "that one time your dad was out of town on business and you found a bottle of pink nail polish in the motel room…"

"Hey! I don't know what he told you about that, but I'm sure he was lying." Dean said.

"Oh really?" Sam said, dimples starting to form, "So you didn't paint your toenails pink 'just to see why girls like it so much'?"

Robin burst out laughing. Dean, her manly-car-fixer-upper-burgers-and-beer Dean, had once painted his toenails pink.

"I was 13! I was bored!" Dean confessed. "Besides, if I remember correctly, I had a mangy little brother who did the exact same thing."

"Ha!" Robin exclaimed, thrilled by the revelation.

Sam laughed, "Yeah…well…I had to do whatever my big brother did."

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "boy dad was pissed when he saw your toes."

Sam's smile faded.

Robin watched the laughter leave the brothers faces to be replaced with solemn expressions.

"I told you to pick it off. Or keep your socks on." Dean said in a low voice.

"I know." Sam sighed, and pushed around a piece of broccoli. "You tried."

Part of Robin wanted to ask what John Winchester had to say about the pink toenails. Then she thought about the marks on Sam's body, and the history behind Dean's move to Sonny's, and she realized she didn't need to ask.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

"No! Stop!" Sam shouted, "PLEASE! STOP!"

Dean's head popped up as he heard the screams echo through the house. He hurried to Sam's room.

"STOP! No more!" Sam screamed.

Dean shook his little brothers shoulders.

"Sammy, wake up." Dean shook Sam a little harder, "Come on, Sam."

Sam opened his eyes and looked at Dean with a fear Dean wasn't used to seeing anymore.

"Dean?"

"It's just me Sammy." Dean said, his voice tired.

Sam relaxed and slowed his breathing.

"I thought the nightmares were going away." Dean said. "Sam?"

"Huh?" Sam was still trying to process what was happening.

"You ok?" Dean asked, "Were you dreaming about that night again?"

Sam looked to his brother, then down to his own scarred armed, then back to his brother.

"Uh, yeah." Sam's voice was a little worn out from the screaming, "Yeah, sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." Dean said rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He adjusted himself and rested his head on the headboard.

"You don't have to stay with me." Sam said.

"M'kay." Dean said, closing his eyes.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"So, you have been spending more time with your brother. How is that working out?" Doctor Wright asked.

"Fine." Sam said shifting his gaze back and forth between his shoes and his twiddling thumbs.

"Would you mind expounding on that a bit?"

"It's fine,' Sam shrugged, "I mean…he tries."

"Tries?"

"Yeah, I can see it. He wants to help. He wants to make it better."

"Make what better, Sam?"

"My life," Sam closed his eyes and, "his life? I don't know."

"Have you noticed any improvements?" Doctor Wright asked jotting down a few notes.

Sam only shrugged.

"Remember, this works a lot better if we both talk." Doctor Wright smiled at his patient. Even if Sam didn't notice it, there were subtle changes in his attitude. There was a chip in his emotional wall, and little by little it would crumble down until Sam was able to fully embrace all of his emotions again. Happiness included.

"The nightmares about…what happened. The ones with my dad." Sam's voice was slowly growing softer, "They're going away. I think."

Doctor Wright waited for Sam to continue.

"But I'm having these new ones. Ones that I can't explain."

"Can't explain?"

"Yeah, after that…night…I could only dream about it. Him." Sam felt an uncomfortable itch on his spine. "But it made sense. To still be afraid of him. Right?"

"It was a traumatic experience, naturally there would be lingering effects."

"Right," Sam sat up a bit, his voice gaining confidence, "It made sense. I could explain why I was still afraid. But these new nightmares…" Sam shook his head. "I think I'd rather have the old ones back."

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

**Ahhhh! Ok so as always, I am sorry that I am so bad at updating. This story is almost done though.**

**Thanks a ton to everyone who takes the time to review! I love hearing your thoughts on the story!**

**Please review if you have a minute :)**


	19. Winchesters

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Supernatural. (Also, I used that stupid Winchester Losechester joke that I heard Jared Padalecki make on some panel discussion thing I watched on youtube.)**

**Hope you like this one! Thanks for reading :)**

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

The impala came to a stop and Sam shut off the engine. Back to school. His two-week suspension had come and gone. Towards the end of his break he was actually beginning to enjoy his time with Dean and Robin. His nightmares were not showing any signs of stopping, but he felt like his random panic attacks were mostly under control. So back to school it was.

The morning was quiet and uneventful. Filled with sideways glances and forced smiles. Lunch was a different story.

Sam collected his food and sat himself down in the corner of the cafeteria at an empty table. Halfway through his cardboard pizza, a familiar face appeared across the table. Carson set a lunch tray down and took a seat.

Sam said nothing, but his face conveyed his confusion.

"Hey," Carson said casually, as if their eating lunch together was a normal occurrence.

"Hey?" Sam replied.

"Look," Carson said taking a deep breath, "I was a jerk. I'm sorry."

Sam looked up at Carson in shock.

"Ok?" Sam said, his voice still full of suspicion.

"I feel bad about what I did man," Carson said looking down at his lunch tray, "I, uh, well I know it's hard…being the new guy."

Sam could sense the sincerity in Carson's voice.

"Yeah," Sam said, "I'm kind of use to it."

"You move around a lot?"

"Yeah."

"Me too," Carson said, "I mean back when I was a kid. Military dad. But I've been here since freshman year. Was your dad military too?"

"Yeah, kind of. But now I'm with my brother." Sam said, giving no further explanation.

"Sonny told me," Carson admitted, "I know your brother."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, well, he was just leaving when I was coming in, but he was always nice."

Sam wasn't sure what to say.

"I went to his wrestling championship." Carson smiled, "He dominated. You must have had some crazy wrestling matches when you were kids."

Sam shrugged. Sure he remembered going up against Dean, but not for fun. Training. Dean and Sam trained together and Sam was always grateful for Dean's restraint. Dean was older and definitely stronger, but he didn't take advantage of his size and power. Things changed once Dean left.

_"Fight back," John commanded. Sam was pinned down under the weight of his father. "Dammit Sam, fight back!"_

_"I'm trying," Sam spat out. He was no match for his ex-military, full-grown, father. _

_"Not hard enough," John said, standing up. He looked down at his son. "I know that you probably think I'm not being fair. I'm not letting you win. That's because out there, nobody is going to let you win, let you overtake them. You have to earn that. Train, build strength, skills, knowledge. You think a werewolf is going to hold back? Fight at half-strength just to make you feel better about yourself?"_

_"No sir."_

_"Exactly. Get up," John commanded. _

"So, you wrestle too?" Carson asked. It was a question asked simply to keep the conversation alive.

"No," Sam said, "I don't do…sports."

"Really?" Carson asked, "not even basketball?"

Sam shrugged.

"I'm on the team." Carson sat up a little taller, "I'm the captain."

"Cool." Sam said with mild interest.

"You're taller than any of our players. Plus there's a couple guys on the team who don't always keep their grades high enough, so they can't play in the games." Carson said. "And I, uh, asked Coach. He said you could try out. We still have a lot of games coming up."

"I don't know," Sam said. He hadn't been on a team since he was a kid. Soccer. Dean begged their dad to let them stay in town long enough for Sam to finish the soccer season. He was so proud of his little trophy. Sam handed it to his father like it was made of gold. John validated him with a quick smile. Then set the trophy down and left. He came back in a week with blood splatters on his sleeves and alcohol on his breath. John threw the trophy in the trunk of the impala and Sam never saw it again.

"I've never been on a basketball team." Sam said.

"Then it's probably about time you joined one." Carson said smiling. The lunch bell rang. "Your choice man. You'd really be helping me out, not that you have any good reason for wanting to help me out. The team could use you. 4pm at the school gym."

SPNSPN

"How was your day?" Dean asked. He was in the kitchen, grabbing food from the refrigerator.

"Fine. Why are you here?"

"What a guy isn't allowed in his own home?" Dean asked. He pulled out a soda. "Want one?"

"No thanks." Sam set his backpack down on the counter.

"Robin didn't have time to make me a lunch and I wasn't feeling the freezer burnt burritos. Thought I could make it till dinner, but here I am. I'm gonna head back to work in a few. Want to come?"

"Actually," Sam said, "I think I have something."

"Like the flu?" Dean asked, suddenly concerned.

"No, like basketball practice."

"Really? Wow, that's great." Dean tried to reign in his excitement and surprise. "I thought the season started a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, well I guess they still need a few more players." Sam shrugged, "I don't know though."

"Well, it's your choice man," Dean said.

"I just…" Sam sighed.

"What?"

"I don't want them staring."

Dean took a moment to process. The scars, basketball shorts, basketball jerseys.

"If it's something you want to do. Do it." Dean said, "People are going to judge and hate and be stupid. You can't let them control your life. You're in control of your life."

"That's a new concept," Sam said with a huff. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

"Huh, yeah guess so." Dean smiled a bit, "You know when I first started calling the shots in my life here, it was tough. I thought I knew myself so well. I liked guns, hunting, and being on the road. When I didn't have those things anymore, those things that made me who I was, I realized: that wasn't me. That was Dad. I learned that I like fixing things, and helping people, and sports, and I learned that I loved you and needed you more that I even knew."

"Yeah," Sam's face started turning pink, "you complete me too. Is the chick-flick moment over yet?"

"Sure," Dean nudged Sam playfully. "But you should know that I really do love you. I know we didn't say it a lot growing up."

"I always knew." Sam said.

"I just thought, maybe you'd forgotten or thought I didn't love you anymore because… I never came back." Dean sighed, "I'm sorry about that. I will always be sorry about that. I should have figured out a way for us to be together."

"I'm here now." Sam said. He looked into his brother's eyes, "And I'm here to stay."

The smile that overtook Dean's face was blinding.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Sam smiled. Dean's smile was infectious and Sam couldn't stop smiling alongside him. Finally, Sam cleared his throat, "I better get ready to go."

"Yeah, don't want to give the coach the wrong first impression." Dean said. "I should get going too. Hey, my truck's acting up, you mind giving me a ride? You can just pick me up when you're done with practice."

The best auto mechanic in the state is having car problems?"

"Shut up." Dean said smiling.

"Yeah, I'll give you a ride." Sam smiled, "But I'm driving."

SPNSPNSPN

"Alright, stretch it out and then give me five laps," Coach Turner called out. His voice echoing through the gym. He walked over to Sam, "So you're the new kid?"

"Yes sir," Sam answered.

"Put this on." Coach Turner tossed Sam a black practice jersey.

Sam took a deep breath unzipped his jacket, slid his shirt off and the practice jersey on. His dark scars were like neon signs against his pale skin. He could feel the eyes of his teammates on him.

"You, uh," Coach Turner cleared his throat, "gonna be ok playing rough out there on the court?"

"I don't have any open wounds," Sam said. "I'll be fine."

Coach Turner nodded.

After the warm-up's, they started running drills. Sam wasn't used to playing on a team, but he had watched college ball on motel tv's. He picked up the drills fast, and his height definitely gave him an advantage over his teammates.

Time passed quickly and soon the boys were finishing up practice with a quick game.

"Winchester!" Carson yelled. Sam threw the ball across the court, and then cut in towards the basket. Sam made himself available for a pass. Carson spotted Sam and bounce passed the ball in to him. Sam gripped the ball and went straight up to the basket. Right off the backboard and in the hoop. Score!

"Alright, bring it in," Coach Turner called.

The sweaty, smiling boys hustled over to the side of the court.

"Winchester, you're picking up the plays fast. Keep that up and you can count on game time in the next week or so."

Sam smiled wide, his dimples were prominent. Carson gave him an encouraging pat on the back.

"Good hustle out there on the court today boys," Coach Tuner said in his booming voice, "get home, do your homework, get your sleep, no drugs, no girls, no wild parties. I'll see you tomorrow."

The team huddled up and gave a raucous cheer before going their separate ways.

"I thought you said you never played before," Carson said as he and Sam walked out to their cars in the school parking lot.

Sam shrugged.

"Yeah well, thanks for getting me on the team."

"You don't have to thank me man. You could have done it all by yourself." Carson opened the driver side door of his car, "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Sam slid into the driver's seat of his impala and headed for the garage to pick up Dean.

SPNSPNSPN

The impala rolled to a stop in front of the Winchester home.

"Sounds like practice was good." Dean said, climbing out of the car. He could tell Sam was downplaying his excitement.

"Yeah," Sam tried not to smile too big. "I made the winning shot in our practice game."

"Well," Dean tussled his brother's growing hair, "You are a Winchester... Not a Losechester."

"Ha. Ha." Sam laughed a dry sarcastic laugh. "You are so funny."

The brothers entered the home. Dean walked back to the bedrooms, calling out for Robin. Sam plopped himself down on the couch. He closed his eyes and threw his head back on the couch. He knew he needed to hit the showers, but he was pretty beat.

"Robin?"

Sam heard Dean calling out.

Sam flinched when a warm drip of liquid fell on his forehead. Sweat? Then there was another drip. Sam opened his eyes just as Dean entered the living room. Suddenly, the ceiling burst into flames encompassing Robin's body which was pinned to the ceiling and dripping with blood.

"Robin!" Dean cried out in panic. Flames licked the walls and smoke filled the room.

Sam sat on the couch. Stunned. Shocked. Scared.

"Robin! No!" Dean jumped up on the couch and tried to reach through the flames up to his wife. "Robin!"

Flames overtook the couch, but Sam sat still. Dean kicked his catatonic brother; harder than he should have.

"Get out of here Sammy," he yelled. "Get outside."

Sam didn't move. Dean looked up at his wife, her skin almost completely gone. Her face expressionless. Then down to Sam. Sitting in the fire. Numb to his bubbling arms.

Dean cursed. Hot tears stung his face.

"Sammy get out!" Dean shouted. "Now!"

No response.

It became clear, Dean could keep reaching for his wife, who was already past saving, or he could save his brother. Dean jumped down from the couch and grabbed Sam. Sam didn't move an inch. His eyes were still glued to the ceiling.

For the second time in his life, Dean took his brother and carried him out of a burning house.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

**Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh crazy! Ok well I hope you liked that. **

**Thank you to all those who are following, reading, reviewing. I love it! If you have a second to tell me what you think I'd love that.**


	20. The End

**Here we go! The Final Chapter! I hope you guys like it. I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting for a million and a half years. I'm the worst. Sorry.**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

It was loud. Flames cackling, wood creaking and snapping, sirens screaming, concerned neighbors cooing. But for Dean it was one big silent, blacked out blur. Somehow, days later he was standing in front of a granite stone and a mound of black dirt.

Robin Winchester and Child

"Dean?" Sonny approached the grieving man. "It's getting late."

The funeral had ended hours ago. The entire community had gathered to show their love, concern, and sympathy.

Sonny rested a hand on Dean's stooped shoulder. Dean had been standing in silence for hours. It killed Sonny to see the man he considered a son in so much pain. Dean didn't deserve this heartache, this unfathomable loss. And Robin, she was much to young to have passed.

A tear rolled down Dean's cheek and was caught in his stubble.

"I can't." Dean said, pausing to take a deep breath, "How am I supposed to…"

"You start with putting one foot in front of the other. When that's too hard you stand still and take one breath after the next." Sonny spoke in a low reverent voice. "Son, I'm not gonna stand here and tell you that I know how you feel or I know what your going through. Because I don't. You're gonna have to heal in your own way. But know that whatever you need, whenever you need it. I'm around."

Dean nodded. He wiped the stagnant tear from his face.

"Dinner?" Sonny asked.

"I should get back to Sam." Dean said.

"Sure," Sonny said, "if you change your mind, swing by whenever."

"Thank you."

**SPNSPN**

Dean unlocked the motel door and let himself into the small dark room. There were boxes scattered around the room. Things that had been salvaged from the fire. Sam was right where he had left him. Laying down on top of the stiff blankets on one of the beds. Sam couldn't attend the funeral, not because of his burns, but because of the guilt that weight down to heavily upon him. Robin was dead and it was all his fault. He should have stopped it.

Sam didn't bother looking up.

Dean loosened his tie and sat down on the bed opposite his brothers. Multiple friends in the community had opened their home to the grieving widower, but Dean wanted to be alone, or at least as alone as he could be. He wasn't going to desert his brother. Sam hadn't spoken a word since the fire.

To anyone looking on from the outside it would have appeared that the event had been more traumatic for Sam than it had been for Dean. But they wouldn't know that Dean had spent his entire childhood and his adolescent years perfecting the art of shoving emotional crap into the dark tiny corners of his soul. It had been years since Dean felt the need to do so and now the task was a bit more difficult. He was out of practice.

"Hungry?" Dean asked.

No response.

"It's been days since I've seen you eat anything." Dean commented as he grabbed a homemade casserole (courtesy of his co-worker's wife) from the mini fridge. He scooped out a small helping and heated it in the microwave. He wasn't really hungry, but he wanted to keep his strength up. Besides, maybe if it smelled good it would be enough to shake Sam out of his silence.

Sam lazily looked down at his bandaged arms. The burns weren't too deep, but they were painful. Dean noticed his brother's tight lips and creased forehead.

"You in any pain?" Dean asked even though he didn't need to. He just wanted to hear Sam speak.

Sam gave a stiff nod.

"Eat some of this first," Dean commanded handing the hot casserole over. "It's not good to keep taking these pills on an empty stomach."

Dean pulled Sam's pain meds out of his pocket. He wasn't about to leave them out in the open where Sam could easily access them.

Sam pushed away the food but Dean pushed it right back.

"Come on," Dean whispered. He wanted to sound strong and in control of the situation, but he was too exhausted, "please?"

Sam closed his eyes and pushed himself up into more of a seated position. He took the dish and brought a tiny bite up to his mouth.

He didn't want to be problematic. He didn't want Dean to worry about him. He didn't want Dean waiting on him hand and foot. He felt pathetic. It was Dean who had just lost a wife and unborn child. It was Dean's house that had gone up in flames. Sam didn't feel like he deserved the kindness his brother was showing him.

Sam swallowed a bite that was much too hot, but he didn't want to complain. The food burned the roof of his mouth, but Sam didn't mind.

Sam only managed to get down half of his meal, but it was enough to make Dean give him a weak smile and a few pain killers.

Night settled in but sleep didn't come easily. Sam fought to keep his eyes open, fearing that sleep would only bring more visions of fires and death. Dean, although thoroughly exhausted, didn't want to fall asleep until Sam did. Eventually, the battle was lost by each brother and sleep overtook them.

Around four in the morning Dean awoke to a gentle hand rubbing his back. He turned on to his side, expecting to see Robin. Instead Sam sat next to him.

"Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice low. As he became more aware of his surroundings he remembered everything. The fire. Deaths. Motel. His face felt warm and sticky, and his throat felt rough. "What are you doing man?"

"You were crying in your sleep," Sam explained as if he was nervous that confessing such a think would be offensive to his older brother. When they were growing up Dean would never admit to crying; although, he never shamed Sam for doing so.

It warmed Dean's heart to hear his brother talking again. Then he remembered what he had been dreaming about. Robin, the baby, their future. Up in flames.

"I'm sorry," Sam said. He didn't know how to apologize for every single thing he had done and every single event that had occurred because of him. He wanted to explain to Dean how everything was his fault, how Dean should get as far away as possible, how sorry he was for existing.

"Yeah," Dean looked up at his brother with wet eyes, "me too."

Sam continued to rub circles on Dean's back even now that his older brother was awake.

"Samantha." Dean whispered.

"Huh?"

"Robin made me promise before we even got married that if we had a daughter we would name her Samantha. That was her mother's name." A smile played at the corners of his mouth. "I said it was fine with me, since I was already use to using the name."

Sam couldn't stop the single chuckle that escaped his lips.

"What if you had a son?" Sam asked.

"I told her she could pick any name she wanted for our boy," Dean's voice dropped to softer than a whisper, "any name except John."

Then Dean did something Sam had never seen him do. He cried himself to sleep.

**SPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean got out of bed as soon as the sun was peaking over the horizon. There was a newfound energy inside of him. Like a switch had been flipped. He showered, dressed, and served Sam his breakfast all before eight in the morning. Then the phone rang and gave Dean a reason to slow down.

"Dean," Bobby drawled out the name with added softness and sympathy, "I just found out. I feel awful I couldn't be there for you boys sooner. I just got back from a hunt out in the middle of nowhere a few states over. I can be in Hurleyville by tomorrow night. Unless you'd rather come here instead?"

"Actually, there's something else I could use your help with, if it's not too much trouble."

"Anything."

"Bobby," Dean looked over to Sam, who was busy scooping up cheerios one by one, "Sam and I, we're going to find the monster who did this. We're going to end this thing once and for all."

Sam's head shot up like it had just popped out of a Jack-in-the-box. Bobby nearly dropped the phone.

"You sure you want to head down that path son?" Bobby asked, careful to keep his voice calm and steady. "I don't think I need to remind you of how long and bloody it can be."

"I'm sure." Dean said, and he meant it. "This thing killed my mom, my wife, and my child. Its days are numbered."

Sam felt a chill run down his spine when he heard the darkness in his brother's voice. He felt a tinge of fear ripple through him realizing that all of those deaths were his fault. Dean might as well put a bullet through his head and save himself the trouble of hunting down the demon. Images and memories from the past few months bombarded his brain. He had been living a (somewhat) normal life. He had friends, a team, a home. But now Dean needed him to give that up and be a hunter more than ever. Giving up his normal life was the least he could do for his brother.

"Well," Bobby sighed, "I'm here to help. What can I do?"

"I'm going to need everything you've ever found on this thing. We've got dad's journal in one of the boxes that were saved, but he obviously didn't know all that he needed to. Can we come by tomorrow to try to work out some kind of plan?"

"I'll be waiting with beer in the fridge and chili on the stove."

"Thank you, Bobby. Really." Dean said goodbye and hung up.

The rest of the morning was spent organizing everything they needed into the trunk of the Impala. Weapons were stowed, duffels were packed, and John Winchester's journal was carefully placed in the trunk. Every item that would have suggested that Dean had lived a life outside of hunting was tossed in the motel dumpster.

Of course, there was one exception: a single photo that had survived the fire. It was singed at the corners, but was mostly intact. It was a candid shot of Robin and Dean that had been taken by a friend at a picnic. Robin was laughing, her smile bright and warm, as Dean looked on with adoration in his eyes.

Dean placed the photo inside of his duffel bag, took a deep breath, and took a step back from the car. He exchanged a look with Sam and they both looked down to double check the gear in the trunk.

"We've got work to do."

**THE END**

**SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Ahhhhhhhh! It's over! Ok I hope you liked that last chapter. Let me know what you think now that it's all over! Thanks for being patient with me. It's been a rough few months and I've been awful at updating so I'm really sorry about that. I hope nobody is too disappointed by the ending.

Thanks for sticking with me and for sticking with this story!


End file.
